The dreaded “It’s the gun or me” gauntlet...

[m657]

re Jeeps: "So he just calmly told her how much he loves her. But then followed it by pointing out if she got away with it, she'd just pull it again and again. Then he told her he'd miss her, but the jeep stays, and he really wanted her to stay, too. They're still married."

After 30+ years with Old Blister, my Sweet Bride, it seemed we had pretty much worked it all out. She puts up with stuff, I put up with stuff. Pretty much we get along after all this time.

I let her know I was looking for a Jeep.....took about a year to find the right one. She feigned indifference in any details, options, plans or etc...."didn't want to be bothered" as I recall the phrase.

Brought it home, she seemed surprised despite her opposition, there it was. Suffice it to say, she's a strongly opinionated woman of Irish ancestry.

Day 1 she wanted it parked behind the barn.
Day 2 I took her for a ride and then parked it behind the barn....it was really hard for her to get out. I left her there to work it out. Told her surprised look, that it was no harder for her to get out on her side than it was for me. The ground was very soft from rain, and it was inclined a bit. And the doors are...well.....Jeep doors take a bit of understanding especially swinging uphill that way.

Now 10 months later, she still won't actually drive it, but does like to go for short rides in it.

It's parked in the drive way since Day 2.

 

[Frank46]

I had a buddy that used to shoot in the local high power matches. Had a beautiful M1A all tricked out, ammo, reloading gear,spotting scope you name it he had it. Didn't see him for awhile and was in a friends gun store. Since a lot of us shot together I asked him where our mutual friend was. Answer, got engaged and the wife to be did not want any guns in the house. He came into the store and put up everything gun related for sale. Frank

 

[Mule88]

If my wife or girlfriend told me to get rid of my guns my response would be...NEXT!

 

[PRC74]

One word "Adios"

 

[Iggy]

It will be 39 years Sunday. So far, guns ain't been much of a problem.

 

[FTG-05]

I *think* my wife gave me one of those ultimatums years ago, but it wasn't about guns. I forget what it was about.

She announced the ultimatum with great fanfare and pomp and circumstance. I responded, after great thought and deliberance (about .000000004958 seconds): "Ok".

I forget the details of what happened right after that but it wasn't anything to write home about.

We're going on 19 years next February.

 

[williamlayton]

The Hen and I have been married 48 years.
I learned from day one that she was as opinionated as I was.
She ignors me just fine and I do her also.
Even a private has the right to bitch.
Blessings

 

[fyimo]

I've never had that problem because one of the first discussions I had with woman I met when I was single so long ago was their feelings on hunting. If they were against it or said they didn't know why I hunt then that was enough to look somewhere else. Of course I also mentioned that I owned lots of guns as the two sort of go together. Once I got the response I wanted then things were good to go until the relationship went somewhere or it didn't.

If the relationship went somewhere and then lady changed her tune on the subject it was an instant signal to run and not walk away from the little love fest because then it is all about power and control and that wasn't going to work with me. I'm a reasonable guy and I pretty much easy to get along with but that's the one thing I won't tolerate because at that point it's called entrapment or worse.

My wife and I were married 30 years when she passed away 6 years ago. When I brought up hunting and guns when we met all she said was as that long as you eat what you hunt then I would have no problems.

 

[mkk41]

About 7yrs ago , when I started my current job , one of my co-workers said he heard I was 'into guns' , and asked if I was interested in buying an AR-15. It was a Bushmaster with case , scope , sling , Deweys cleaning rod , 3-20rd and 3-30rd mags and 800rds of ammo. Seems he was showing it to another friend and said within earshot of his pregnant wife that "this is the same rifle the DC sniper used!" Well , that statement got him 'the ultimatum' , and got me a great deal. $700 for everything.

 

[M29since14]

It will be 39 years Sunday. So far, guns ain't been much of a problem.

Early but sincere congratulations, you two!

 

[Onomea]

I *think* my wife gave me one of those ultimatums years ago, but it wasn't about guns. If forget what it was about.

She announced the ultimatum with great fanfare and pomp and circumstance. I responded, after great thought and deliberance (about .000000004958 seconds): "Ok".

I forget the details of what happened right after that but it wasn't anything to write home about.

We're going on 19 years next February.

Yep. This is a good strategy. My 17 YO son get's maxed out by his momma's admonitions and I take him aside and say: "Son, this is what women do. They do it because they love us. Yeah, I know it is a major pain in the butt, but look. Here's the key. Just say, 'Yes, Mom!,' and then just do whatever you want. That's what I do. Saves a lot of wear and tear."

 

[glenncal1]

I like guns, I like boats, I only keep a car for a few years, I used to buy and sell motorcycles as a hobby. I stay single so I don't have to hear any guff about my hobbies.

 

[venomballistics]

It's been said that a marriage is hard work. I submit (and this opinion I only apply for myself, not anyone else nor their relationship.)
that marriage is only hard work when it's bad.

I'll add to this by offering "even a good marriage is like combat. countless hours of boredom separated by moments of raw abject terror"

 

[Stainz]

My first wife hated firearms - and had a short fuse. I only had black powder cap & ball guns during our first nearly twenty year marriage - keeping the caps, balls, powder, and revolver in different parts of the house. After most of a year apart, we remarried (I'm a bit of a slow learner some times...). Not even a bp c&b revolver was thought to be safe then. It took me most of three years to see the error of my ways - again.

I married someone different the third (... and final!) time - and she came with a handgun! She bought me my first S&W over nine years ago - and has bought me more firearms, too. Nothing to change with her. Our biggest arguement in 12+ years of marriage? Where to go out to dinner. We each try to please the other - ending up at a place neither of us like!

You cannot change folks. A smoker won't quit 'for you'. Making a marriage contingent on ridding one's self of firearms - or cats - or a seemingly silly hobby - is pointless. If they give up something that is part of them, they will resent it - and you. Of course, some things are health related - like an asthmatic marrying a chain smoker. Some are just not wise - like a pyromaniac night walker - or a crack addict.

It could be Jennefer Love-Hewitt's clone - or one of a young Sophia Loren - she could own a Mex eatery - and a micro-brewery. No guns, no dice. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't be so hasty - can I have an air gun?

Stainz

 

[oldman45]

Dating is a game, nothing more, nothing less. You are on your best behavior while wanting to impress her. She is on her best behavior while wanting to impress you. Both puts up with the enjoyment of the other.

Then marriage. Once married, the fish has been caught. No need for game playing or pretending or continuing to bait the hook. One or the other will eventually say they put up with such and such when dating thinking the other will change. Divorce is so expensive that someone gives in, usually the man. Marriage is the cause of 100% of all divorces. Each of my exes had the same idea. They all backed a truck up and loaded up all my stuff with theirs. One took 63 guns that I had before marriage and got my Cadillac convertible while leaving me with an older Chevy Biscayne that she had before marriage.

Then children. Children are not what they are cracked up to be. If they are, then why is everyone so happy when they leave the house? Children are expensive to raise. Once children are entered into the fray, marriage gets to gnawing on both parents. Divorce then becomes a lot more expensive so there is more leeway in what is allowed or forbidden in the marriage. One attorney I know pays $3,800 monthly in child support to an ex-wife that does not work simply due to support being based on income. His ex freely admits to having kids so she could get a divorce and live off the child support.

Once gone, the children has grand kids. Then grandchildren are great. The reason being they are great is because, unlike children, they can be sent home and not underfoot daily.

It is always the man that has to give up things in marriage. I am now in that bracket for the last 39 yrs. I have no opinions on anything other than what she tells me my opinion is. I live in a room in this house that has my tv, my gun safes, my computers and my cameras. She lives in the rest of the house, furnished as she wants and lives in luxury, not working but making sure I do so she can afford the medical treatments, the medicine, the cars and the trips she wants.

 

[arjay]

Was married for 28 years to a woman that fought me at every turn.She was determined to be drunk,poor and complaining.Kids grew up and I left.Cost me plenty and it was worth every cent!

 

[OMCHamlin]

I don't like ultimatums. If she told me, "It's me or the" anything - gun, dog, TV, computer, beer - then it's, "Bye bye".

THIS, WITHOUT QUESTION.

 

[semperfi71]

from Beach Elvis,

It's been said that a marriage is hard work. I submit (and this opinion I only apply for myself, not anyone else nor their relationship.)
that marriage is only hard work when it's bad.

I totally agree, if you have to work at it the relationship, either marriage, work-mates, or "friends" is NOT good.

At the same time if you live with anybody for any length of time after a month or so, differences of opinon will occur. It's how you offer them and respond to them that tells you whether or not there is "respect" in the relationship.

The War Department and I occassionally fight, but we fight fair.

The best advice I got when I was divorced was: "Find someone the next time who THINKS like you do." It worked for me so far.

 

[BarbC]

I don't know... we had a really good marriage and friendship until he retired and didn't want to do anything or go anywhere except to the garage and drink. Everything I did to entertain myself, he had a problem with because it took attention away from him. So after two years of him screaming at me to quit whatever I was involved with at the time, he demanded a divorce in a drunken snit fit and then refused to take it back because he "didn't want people to think he didn't mean what he said" and he "has his pride."

He also has my house, my furniture, my safe, my dog, my friends. Oh, and I had to quit the job I love because I couldn't afford to live where I worked on the income I was making part-time. He refuses to keep me on any of his insurance once we're divorced. For all of this, he said I could have $20,000. He wanted the divorce over with in 90 days. I have balked and the proceedings are stalled at this point.

So I left and went to do some work in a far away place to stay busy, make a difference, and be completely out of my element so I don't get depressed.

And that's where we stand.

And it's a shame.

 

[Kavinsky]

Its like the old song says, you better shop around and not settle on the very first one.

and like all marriages, its give and take and like everything else in life you have to balance it out but you shouldnt even try it if something as key to you like a car or a gun is on the table of things she wants gone.

I mean so many billions of people on this planet and your dating one whos anti gun? check please!

although like anything else you cant just come out and say that otherwise you will obviously rase a few eyebrows and that's not to say that ignorant person whos been raised to fear guns wont grow to like them once their properly educated about them and they stop watching fox news

plus hell I myself was scared of guns till I got used to them as a 10 year old when I went to the range with my dad and I gradually got used to them and grew fond of them and whats to say that that cant happen with someone I'm dating down the line.

I guess the best thing to do is try and find one that's either for them or neutral in the matter and if their trying to get rid of the **** I like... hell with'em