The fuse is lit

I had my first colonoscopy 20 years ago. When I went to pick up my prep bag, I confided to the nurse, a matronly lady in her fifties, "Y'know," I said, "I've never had one of these before. I understand they take a 15-foot piece of galvanized pipe and cram it up your beunine canal*."

She looked at me and, without breaking a smile, said, "It's not galvanized.":eek:



*beunine canal: A perfectly clean word with no actual definition because I made it up. However, let your imagination be your guide.:D
 
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Thought Id be smart and drink the prescribed dose then head home from cottage,its only an hour and a half. Figured it wouldnt work that fast. Boy was I WRONG!!!!! Stay close to that TOILET.
*
I'm surprised you did not get a warning from medical folks or others you know. I'd say 10 minutes is the max safe time for many of us.
The two procedures I had (in 5 days) when I was in the hospital a year ago as they looked for the source of a bleed were the worst. I was dehydrated, had little to eat or drink, and there was virtually nothing to cut the lemon flavored stuff. When I made it at home, they told me to make it a day in advance and chill it, and I mixed it with sugar free Lemon-Lime Gatorade (in part because anything blue or red is not allowed). It was not nearly as vile.
I'm in with the advocate crowd. While the prep is unpleasant, it beats the risk of missing something.
 
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Apparently there's an add-on gadget that turns your toilet into a bidet. A friend of mine's wife had one installed on their convenience and he admits it's the cat's-pajamas.

Yep, very popular in Japan and other Asian countries. Some have a control panel similar to a 747. If you’re not careful, you could shoot your eye out.
 
I understand they take a 15-foot piece of galvanized pipe and cram it up your beunine canal*."

She looked at me and, without breaking a smile, said, "It's not galvanized.":eek:
Were they using the flexible plastic with a camera 20 years ago? It is a WONDERFUL thing!
The first two I had were in the 1960s with the "Silver Stallion". That was a stainless tube about 5/8-3/4" in diameter, about 20-24 inches long. Obviously, they could not look at the entire colon.
They were done WITHOUT anesthetic in the knee-chest position. :eek:
After the second one, I swore they would have to tie me down or literally knock me out. It would NOT happen without a fight. They're a breeze now compared to that. :D
 
a stainless tube about 5/8-3/4" in diameter, about 20-24 inches long.
They were done WITHOUT anesthetic in the knee-chest position. :eek:
After the second one, I swore they would have to tie me down or literally knock me out. It would NOT happen without a fight. They're a breeze now compared to that. :D
Facing that procedure I would have loaded up on broccoli and beans the night before.
 
First time I had one it was a two step process for the cleansing. IIRC, the second step took a long time to activate. Fortunately, I stayed by the bathroom after I felt the first rumble. I finally quit wearing pants for a couple of hours.
 
Were they using the flexible plastic with a camera 20 years ago? It is a WONDERFUL thing!
The first two I had were in the 1960s with the "Silver Stallion". That was a stainless tube about 5/8-3/4" in diameter, about 20-24 inches long. Obviously, they could not look at the entire colon.
They were done WITHOUT anesthetic in the knee-chest position. :eek:
After the second one, I swore they would have to tie me down or literally knock me out. It would NOT happen without a fight. They're a breeze now compared to that. :D

Yep! I had that procedure too! No anesthesia!

I remember screaming at the young female nurses as one was restraining me and one was controlling that long chrome tube "Y'all went to SCHOOL to learn how to do this TO PEOPLE? What kinda nurses are you?"

After they finished they stood me up and all the fluid ran out, down my bare legs onto the floor. The surgeon came from behind the screen and laughingly said "Betcha don't ever let anyone do that to you again!"


,
 
Apparently there's an add-on gadget that turns your toilet into a bidet. A friend of mine's wife had one installed on their convenience and he admits it's the cat's-pajamas.
I have one and it is great, cuts down on the amount of TP used also.
Ditto. Saw one at a friends house and looked up "bidet attachment" on Amazon and found a wide selection of them.
Under 30 bucks and they take about 15 minutes to install.
Getting "washed" with cold water takes a little getting used to, but after the first couple of times, no big deal. A great addition to the ol' throne.
 
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Were they using the flexible plastic with a camera 20 years ago? It is a WONDERFUL thing!
The first two I had were in the 1960s with the "Silver Stallion". That was a stainless tube about 5/8-3/4" in diameter, about 20-24 inches long. Obviously, they could not look at the entire colon.
They were done WITHOUT anesthetic in the knee-chest position. :eek:
After the second one, I swore they would have to tie me down or literally knock me out. It would NOT happen without a fight. They're a breeze now compared to that. :D

I got a flexible plastic tube with camera in 1991 in Missoula when I was puking up blood. Great thing to have, cauterize, rinse and get it all recorded.
 
Were they using the flexible plastic with a camera 20 years ago? It is a WONDERFUL thing!
The first two I had were in the 1960s with the "Silver Stallion". That was a stainless tube about 5/8-3/4" in diameter, about 20-24 inches long. Obviously, they could not look at the entire colon.
They were done WITHOUT anesthetic in the knee-chest position. :eek:
After the second one, I swore they would have to tie me down or literally knock me out. It would NOT happen without a fight. They're a breeze now compared to that. :D

Good Lord, what a revolting development
 
One thing I'll have to say about my doctor is that he was very liberal with the drugs. He knocked me right out and I don't remember the procedure, the ride home, or even the next 3 or 4 hours after that. I can't be help accountable for the things said during that time, especially since I don't remember them.;)
 
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