Trust

Jinglebob

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Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of our vulnerabilities but expecting that they will not do so. Trust and friendliness go hand in hand. I suppose we can do without friendliness but we can’t do without trust. We have to have some trust in each other. Trust is what a healthy society is built on. The most valuable thing the bad guys have stolen from us is trust.

Last week my wife and I went Christmas shopping at the big mall in Dallas. One store in the mall required us to check our shopping bags at the door. Before you even enter the place they suspect you of being a thief. Yes, I know that there are shoplifters but I don’t like walking through a store knowing that management thinks that I’m trying to steal. If they don’t trust me, it’s hard for me to trust them.

I thought about this today while driving back form the mom and pop hardware store in my little hometown. I picked out a dozen carriage bolts and a dozen nuts from the hardware bin. When I placed them on the counter, the cashier asked how many did I have? I replied that I had twelve bolts and twelve nuts. Without counting, he rang up the purchase and wished me a happy new year. He trusted me. I suspect he has less stolen form him than the big city store that makes you check your shopping bags.
 
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Trust, but verify. Store policies are based on past performance, and performance shows that some people are honest, most are honest if watched, and a few will try to out run you with stolen merchandise taken right in front of you-and some of them will get away. If enough get away, you are unemployed and out of business.
 
A lot of this is insurance driven to keep down theft insurance and ultimately the price to you. They do not "like" doing it either.
 
I understand what you‘re saying, but I wouldn‘t romanticize it too much. Your mom-and-pop hardware store has less stolen because they have less worth stealing, and a much more contained customer base. If you showed up with a dozen smartphones in your shopping basket, I suspect the cashier would count them no matter how much he trusted you. Same if you looked out of place somehow.

I believe there are two different kinds of trust. One is a personal relationship built on experience. Hopefully you know your friend well enough to evaluate whether you can trust him to repay money he wants to borrow from you. But our society runs on a more general type of trust. Without knowing most of them, you trust the drivers out there not to try to run you down when you walk around town.

As for the stores, mom-and-pop may actually know some of their customers personally. The big city store cashiers almost certainly do not. So “trust” comes down to a cost-benefit calculation. Generally, people can be trusted to be honest, but some aren’t. The big city store has a higher risk of getting those as “customers”, and more to lose, than mom-and-pop. Still, very few stores have no-bag policies. But I wouldn’t judge them for it.
 
With you have a hardware store like that here awsom. As far as big store you mentioned for me I wouldn't have went in. How can you trust that store to not have employees going threw your checked stuff. It's a two way street trust wise. That store has none from me.
 
I've done that. I'll comply yet state I do resent the implication. I then
collect the receipts and ask this will be here when I return. It's doable
without being obnoxious or a tool.
 
A lot of this is insurance driven to keep down theft insurance and ultimately the price to you. They do not "like" doing it either.

Stores don't get insurance coverage for shop lifting. It's just written off after inventory as "shrinkage". You might have coverage on theft of a cash register for the machine and/or money but merchandise is just gone.
 
There was a big to do about WalMart doing that a few years ago. Exiting out the garden center they asked for a receipt and checked your bags,

Some folks did a class action or something claiming they were essentially being accused of shoplifting.

Wal Mart discontinued the procedure.

At Costco, when you join you know it is their policy, they check your receipt and cart. But you agree to that when you join. I have no issue with that.

For the OP is the Policy stated in writing, before you enter the mall/store?
If not I believe you could refuse. What can they do?? Say you can't leave? Detain you against your will with no proof?
Much like store employees are not allowed to confront someone that the KNOW shoplifted something. The policy is just let them go, it;s not worth it.
 
As for the stores, mom-and-pop may actually know some of their customers personally. The big city store cashiers almost certainly do not. So “trust” comes down to a cost-benefit calculation. Generally, people can be trusted to be honest, but some aren’t. The big city store has a higher risk of getting those as “customers”, and more to lose, than mom-and-pop. Still, very few stores have no-bag policies. But I wouldn’t judge them for it.

Several years ago I went into ACE Hardware and grabbed an armful of stuff. Had a lot on mind and just walked out past the cashiers, got in my truck and drove off. About half way home it dawned on me what I'd done, turned around and drove back. Upon entering the store I asked with a sheepish smile if the cops were on the way. The gals laughed and said they figured I'd be back.

Our little town has grown so much in the last 10 years that this type of familiarity is fading away. Sad.
 
The key difference in your two experiences are these words:

"Last week my wife and I went Christmas shopping at the big mall in Dallas."

"I thought about this today while driving back form the mom and pop hardware store in my little hometown."

Malls are evil...... ;)
 
Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of our vulnerabilities but expecting that they will not do so. Trust and friendliness go hand in hand. I suppose we can do without friendliness but we can’t do without trust. We have to have some trust in each other. Trust is what a healthy society is built on. The most valuable thing the bad guys have stolen from us is trust.

Last week my wife and I went Christmas shopping at the big mall in Dallas. One store in the mall required us to check our shopping bags at the door. Before you even enter the place they suspect you of being a thief. Yes, I know that there are shoplifters but I don’t like walking through a store knowing that management thinks that I’m trying to steal. If they don’t trust me, it’s hard for me to trust them.

I thought about this today while driving back form the mom and pop hardware store in my little hometown. I picked out a dozen carriage bolts and a dozen nuts from the hardware bin. When I placed them on the counter, the cashier asked how many did I have? I replied that I had twelve bolts and twelve nuts. Without counting, he rang up the purchase and wished me a happy new year. He trusted me. I suspect he has less stolen form him than the big city store that makes you check your shopping bags.

I would have politely asked them directions to the nearest similar store and exited. If they don’t trust me to not fill my bags with their merchandise and walk out, then I sure as heck don’t trust them to watch my expensive stuff I just bought. Who watches that? I bet a lot of stuff gets stolen from the “checked” bags.
 
From my limited experience employees steal as much or more than customers. That said I would not trust their employees to watch my purchases from another store either.
 
I bought an electric chain/pole saw at the local Ace Hardware a few years back. One of the employees helped me and even carried some of the stuff to the vehicle. Later, when I was looking at the receipt I found that I hadn't paid for the chain oil. I still don't know why, even with the guy helping me, it was not paid for. I went back to the store the next day and carried the oil and my receipt and paid them for it. Nothing was said, I just explained what had happened and paid up.

Have a blessed day,

Leon
 
It is simply a sign of the times. The more crowded a society gets and the more people that get displaced/disenfranchised, the less open and friendly and trusting people get.

It's hard to fault retailers especially in a big busy mall. Thieves are gonna target these places and they must protect themselves or perish.

I try not to get personally insulted on these situations. It's not personal. It's just survival. Theft is devastating to a retail business. Over head it huge. Wages, insurance, utilities and maintenance for the store and daily operations, replacing stock. etc.

A simple illustration: A grocery store gets in a case of canned peaches. One can gets damaged or stolen. That kills the profit for the whole case. That means the store has to handle it for nothing and pay some one to stock it and it must take up space on the shelf.

And for a store selling high dollar items the problems grow exponentially.

Put yourself in the place of a shop owner and try to imagine how that would feel. The future is bleak for a lot of retail stores now due to the internet businesses. There are going to be casualties and I expect everyone if fairly uncertain of their future.
 
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