JOERM
Member
two blondes walking thru the woods.one says oh look deer tracks.the other says no those are rabbit tracks.............then they got hit by the train.
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two blondes in the woods....
- Thread starter JOERM
- Start date
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Joe, you have heard about the tragedy that befell the two blonde secretaries working late Friday night? As they were leaving the building, power was interrupted and they were trapped on the escalator and died of dehyration before they could be rescued. 
(Or something like that. I am a lousy joke teller.)
(Or something like that. I am a lousy joke teller.)
mississippi revolverman
Member
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2009
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You guys are bad. Got a blonde wife of 38 years plus she can shoot so better keep my comments to myself.
Denver Dick
US Veteran
JOERM wrote:
The smarter one said, "You are so not with it. Those are the tracks for the Monorail." 
You know, that one reminds me of the time two blondes visited Disneyland in Southern California. The slower of the two looked at the train tracks going around the park and asked the other, "Hey, what are those?"
The smarter one said, "You are so not with it. Those are the tracks for the Monorail."
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7shooter
Member
Would anyone happen to have a blonde lawyer joke ? I could use one. Thanks.
Grayfox
US Veteran
A blind man walks into a new bar where he's never been before. Finds his way to the bar and orders a beer. Then he says "Hey, who wants to hear a blond joke?"
The woman next to him says "Hold on, I can see that you're blind so I'll cut you some slack. You may not realize it, but this is a lesbian biker bar.
I'm 6' 2" and weigh 250, I'm also a blond. My girlfriend here is even bigger and she's a blond. On your other side, she's a professional wrestler and she's a blond. Add that the bartender and the bouncer are both blonds and they have baseball bats.
Now, do you really wanna tell that blond joke?"
The guy says "Hell NO! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
The woman next to him says "Hold on, I can see that you're blind so I'll cut you some slack. You may not realize it, but this is a lesbian biker bar.
I'm 6' 2" and weigh 250, I'm also a blond. My girlfriend here is even bigger and she's a blond. On your other side, she's a professional wrestler and she's a blond. Add that the bartender and the bouncer are both blonds and they have baseball bats.
Now, do you really wanna tell that blond joke?"
The guy says "Hell NO! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
A blonde woman gets pulled over for speeding by a female State Trooper who is also blonde. The Trooper asks to see her license. The driver says: "What's that?" The trooper says "It's a little square thing in your purse with your picture on it". The driver rummages around in her purse for a few minutes and proclaims proudly: "I found it---I found it!" She then hands the trooper a make-up mirror. The trooper looks it silently for a moment and then hands it back to the driver. "It's OK....you can go now....I didn't realize that you were a cop too!".
JcMack
Member
How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer?
There will be "white out" on the screen.
There will be "white out" on the screen.
gunnut2u
Member
Does dyeing their hair really make them smart ?
gunnut2u
Member
I got a blonde wife for 29yrs. Although she can't shoot a lick , She is very lucky , go figure!
She says it's a blonde thing . Usually hits her target .
Stonecove
Member
This is a true story.
My wife who is blond is visiting her blond sister in San Diego. My wife spots the air craft carrier, and says to her sister: Oh look an aircraft carrier! Her blond sister looks up in the sky and says-------- WHERE?
Stonecove
My wife who is blond is visiting her blond sister in San Diego. My wife spots the air craft carrier, and says to her sister: Oh look an aircraft carrier! Her blond sister looks up in the sky and says-------- WHERE?
Stonecove
gunlovingirl
Member
Do blonde men have this problem? I've known a few that you could just substitute the "she" and "her" in the jokes with "he" and "him", and it would still be appropriate! Ahhhh, what we blondes have to go through. No respect.
One of the oddest comments I ever heard was said to me by a brunette. I was sitting in Armorers class in Ft Lee, Va and we were just starting the segment on the M-60 machine gun. We had placed our M-60's on the work bench and the instructor started by saying: The M-60 is a 7.62mm, belt feed, gas operated, automatic weapon.
The woman I was sharing a workbench with said: These things run on gas? I thought all you had to do was pull the trigger. As she said this I could see she was trying to figure out where you put the gas.
Once she realized what she said we both thought it was pretty funny.
The woman I was sharing a workbench with said: These things run on gas? I thought all you had to do was pull the trigger. As she said this I could see she was trying to figure out where you put the gas.
Once she realized what she said we both thought it was pretty funny.
gamedic
Member
My stepdaughter had a turn signal burned out on her car. Some guys she knew told her she was low on blinker fluid. They told her to go to Walmart and buy some and they would put it in for her. After looking for it for a while with no success she asked the salesperson in automotive where she could find the blinker fluid. HA HA HA!!!
rewster
Member
Do blonde men have this problem? I've known a few that you could just substitute the "she" and "her" in the jokes with "he" and "him", and it would still be appropriate! Ahhhh, what we blondes have to go through. No respect.
Misty Dangerfield !!
I went to your profile and clicked on the "show all statistics" button and was sadly disappointed !! ;-) (Hey I lost my smilies )
