What makes a mall ninja?

[David LaPell]

I have often heard the term mall ninja over the last couple of years, but I wonder what makes a mall ninja. I know of a couple of guys that I work with that would probably qualify, and there is this ONE guy that lives local that when I see him at the range I have to keep from bursting out into hysterical laughter. (About 60, pants that border on what looks like pajama's, cut off muscle shirt, tactical style holster with 1911, so many ammo pouches he can't sit down, and the kicker is the badge holder with the square security guard badge that he wears on his belt). But, what else makes a mall ninja?
Me, I guess I am what some call a redneck, but I prefer to go as unnoticed as possible, a pair of decent slacks, a t-shirt, hat, and when I carry, I don't want attention. Some just seem to be begging to have their pistol permit yanked.

 

[major kong]

I think that it's not only what you can see, like the drop-leg holster or the combat boots, or Oakleys, but also what you can't see. As much as anything, I think it's a state of mind.

 

[Bob R]

Wow, the Mall Ninja, aka Gecko45. Back about 10 years ago a person using the handle of Gecko45 started posting about himself and thus the Mall Ninja was born.

If you want to read about him, please for your own safety and comfort, first use the restroom and bring in something to drink. Once you start down the path that Gecko45 has layed out it is hard to break away.

This will cover the posts he made. Prepare to stand in awe at the ninjaness that is Gecko45! Much of the entertainment was from the replies made to him, but they are no longer with us.

Shrine of the Mall Ninja » LonelyMachines

bob

 

[45Wheelgun]

Dang it Bob, I had not read that in a long time. Got all lost in duct taped secondary armor and now I am late for work.

Be very careful following Bob's link, you can get lost for hours reading this entertaining thread.

All hail the Mall Ninja!

 

[handejector]

I wish I had time to read the whole thing.
That was funny.
Now I know what Jack Bauer does between seasons.

 

[mm6mm6]

Golly, I hurt so bad from laughing at the "Shrine of the Mall Ninja" link. That link is so well put together. You can just start reading and you'll fully understand where it's going. It just keeps getting more and more hilarious. The responses are hysterical!

 

[biggs357]

I don't know what they look like but i know what they drive.I caught up to one before he gave me a smoke screen and this is the only pic i could get.

 

[handejector]

I don't know what they look like but i know what they drive.I caught up to one before he gave me a smoke screen and this is the only pic i could get.

That is a ballistic license plate that can stop a .338 Lapua......

 

[26Ford]

All I know is, where can I get a pair of those boots to climb walls, I am painting the roof of the cab of my 26 P/U white in the next few day's, and it sure would make things alot easier

 

[handejector]

He was once a member here. One of his two surviving posts is here:
M&P SPECIAL OPS MODEL

You can't see the signature for a banned member, but I swear it is "keeping your malls safe!"

This thread has been an epiphany for me- I had always thought everything on the net was TRUE!

 

[26Ford]

Hope not to offend, but in this case, Special " OPS " could mean, ....."Obsessive - Psychotic - Schizophrenic" , just sayin..........

 

[safearm]

Someone must have a picture of a dressed-out mall ninja.

 

[NFrameFred]

I don't know what they look like but i know what they drive.I caught up to one before he gave me a smoke screen and this is the only pic i could get.

Biggs, that's probably DIAMOND DAVE

 

[jlrhiner]

I should set an alarm or something to re-read that mall ninja post every few months.

 

[Black_Sheep]

This thread has been an epiphany for me- I had always thought everything on the net was TRUE!

I suppose next you are going to say that Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny aren't real.

If you have an extended magazine, tac light, crimson trace and a bayonet on your Glock 17 you might be a mall ninja.

There's some hysterical pictures on the 'net if you google "mall ninja", I was going to add one to my post but I didn't want to get gigged for violating the copyright materials guidelines...

 

[venomballistics]

He was once a member here. One of his two surviving posts is here:
M&P SPECIAL OPS MODEL

You can't see the signature for a banned member, but I swear it is "keeping your malls safe!"

This thread has been an epiphany for me- I had always thought everything on the net was TRUE!

its almost too bad he's banned ... not for any substantive input ... but the entertainment value of watching him work himself up into a rejected Tom Clancy novel manuscript

 

[Fishslayer]

Someone must have a picture of a dressed-out mall ninja.

Take yer pick!

mall ninja - Google Search


My benchmark is usually a short barrel AR type, vertical foregrip, at least $3K in optics and the inability to keep everything on the paper @ 25 yds...

 

[nogoodnamesleft]

Shrine of the Mall Ninja » LonelyMachines

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a looooooong time.

 

[The Last Standing Knight]

Wow, the Mall Ninja, aka Gecko45. Back about 10 years ago a person using the handle of Gecko45 started posting about himself and thus the Mall Ninja was born.

If you want to read about him, please for your own safety and comfort, first use the restroom and bring in something to drink. Once you start down the path that Gecko45 has layed out it is hard to break away.

This will cover the posts he made. Prepare to stand in awe at the ninjaness that is Gecko45! Much of the entertainment was from the replies made to him, but they are no longer with us.

Shrine of the Mall Ninja » LonelyMachines

bob

ROFLMAO! I went through my phase of this many years ago. Thankfully. I still slap myself when I think back to some of the crazy stuff I did as a security guard at one of the most dangerous malls in the state.
I did learn a lot there from working with police and the system both from hands on and observing.
Those days are done, though...and this "Shrine of the Mall Ninja" brought up the fact as to HOW STUPID I WAS!!!!!
However, I still run into these from time to time and I give them some heartfelt advice: 1) Don't EVEN apply with my company with that kind of demeanor...you're a lawsuit or a funeral waiting to happen. 2) Security Guards with VERY few exceptions are there to provide a deterent, be a witness, make a phone call and do a report...NOT COPS, SOCOM, etc.etc.etc.. 3) If you are friendly with local police, they would take you off to the side to explain WHY the stuff described is merely a few inches away from a lawsuit, an indictment, and possibly jail for an impersonation charge, and 4) Getting yourself killed...(I lost a friend there who witnessed an incident and had a contract put out on him...the bad guys got him before he could get his sidearm).
I'm alive, a lot older, a lot wiser, and a lot more professional these days.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

Part of the Mall Ninja milieu (?) is that while they DRESS the part they never LOOK that part. They are always at least 30 pounds overweight with a belly that makes the Michelin Tire Man look svelte and slim. Their excuse is always "they can't exercise due to an injury". Or it's a "glandular disorder."