Where do I go from here

[Ghost Magnum]

I just turned 31 today. I been trying to figure out what my next step in life should be. I had my personal victories lately. I managed to buy myself a new Colt Python, I have a running car I’m about to buy new tires for, I found my lost confidence, and I took my first steps today to regain my physical strength. I went on my first jog in over a year and the first jog since my car accident. My left leg hurt. But I pushed my self through it.

But I have dealt with a lot of emotional pain too. The girl I was courting cut ties with me when I was in FMLA. I cut off another girl (just a friend) I knew because of her cruelty. Her boyfriend I was good friends with and respected drifted away because of it.
My family is a lost cause. I did everything I can to help them through all their self inflicted problems. All I got out of it was being pulled down with them. They completely negated everything sacrificed I made through out my 20s. Including dropping out of college. My sister is the only person in my family that is keeping me going.
Me and my pastor is drifting apart. My church was there for me. I can’t give them much. But I am volunteering for security there as a way to return the help.
My reputation is basically destroyed. I found out after cutting out my friends that they was the ones spreading rumors about me. I had a feeling so that’s one of the reasons I cut them out. I have a feeling they are the reason that one girl cut ties with me. Long story. Goes back years.
My circle of friends and family is getting smaller every day.
The only thing I have left is my Torino. I’m nervous about putting money into it right now. My car is on my grandparents property. I live on her property in a fifth wheel camper. I was hoping to move last year to a different city to pursue law enforcement or move up in security. But my car accident put a end of that. My truck was the only vehicle in the entire family that can pull my camper. The truck is totaled. But family politics has gotten really bad. I nervous to invest money into my Torino because I worried it will become a target. My grandma is extremely vindictive. She would and already tried to do something to me to upset my dad. I put a car cover on my Torino and she stressed me out over it. I thought about just go through with it. Get it running regardless what happens. I thought about buying a single axle camper. Get a trailer hitch installed on my Torino and just hit the road. Just drive around until I find where god wants me. I’m confident a tri power 427 can pull it. It sounds like a opening to a 80s Tv show. But that’s the idea I have.

Sorry for the long post. But I like Smith and Wesson forum because the wisdom without the toxicity. Y’all are good to me and each other. I like it.

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

Friends that aren't are one of life's toughest lessons!

The old phrase "To thine own self be true." works in real life too. Those gossips in life, flake out pretty fast, but maintaining your integrity will get you noticed by the right kind of people. Those will be your lifelong friends, and maybe one of them want to build a life with you. (Try and avoid women that just want a meal ticket and child support.)

I know you take great joy in your car and maybe your truck. But don't be dependent on "Things" for Joy, Joy is a byproduct of spending a relationship with God.

Ivan

 

[Oldengineer]

I think a good place to start is checking out your assumptions. This involves having “crucial conversations” with those that seem toxic. Use “I” messages, and avoid blame and “you” messages. Speak from the heart.

Once you know (not feel) what’s really going on, you can begin to see clearly. Remember that feelings are NOT facts and twisted thinking is harmful. Also, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. While I am a baptised believer in Jesus Christ, hope and faith are very poor processes. What I’m advocating is an inside job. If it’s to be, it’s up to me. Good luck and it’s worth the effort. Tom H.

 

[robvious]

Your next step is yours to figure out... but stepping away from toxic people in your path is a good plan... make sure first that you are working on yourself too... I hold no secrets to your future to share with you, but I will keep you in my prayers as you continue your quest. Keep making today better than yesterday... you will get there.

 

[Ghost Magnum]

Friends that aren't are one of life's toughest lessons!

The old phrase "To thine own self be true." works in real life too. Those gossips in life, flake out pretty fast, but maintaining your integrity will get you noticed by the right kind of people. Those will be your lifelong friends, and maybe one of them want to build a life with you. (Try and avoid women that just want a meal ticket and child support.)

I know you take great joy in your car and maybe your truck. But don't be dependent on "Things" for Joy, Joy is a byproduct of spending a relationship with God.

Ivan

I don’t really need things to make me happy. I’m trying to reaffirm my faith in god and rediscovering myself. As weird as this sounds. My car accident was good to me on a spiritual level. It awakened something in me.

I think a good place to start is checking out your assumptions. This involves having “crucial conversations” with those that seem toxic. Use “I” messages, and avoid blame and “you” messages. Speak from the heart.

Once you know (not feel) what’s really going on, you can begin to see clearly. Remember that feelings are NOT facts and twisted thinking is harmful. Also, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. While I am a baptised believer in Jesus Christ, hope and faith are very poor processes. What I’m advocating is an inside job. If it’s to be, it’s up to me. Good luck and it’s worth the effort. Tom H.

I got roasted in front of everyone at a local club on my first visit there. My “friends” told a guy known for heavy drinking stuff I never told him. He yelled it out to everyone. Mostly about my fruitless pursuit of said girl I was courting.
that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

My circle is mostly just my sister and two true friends and one good friend.
My Torino is mostly the only thing I have left. I just thinking about finally getting it running and move on to new things.

 

[Ghost Magnum]

Your next step is yours to figure out... but stepping away from toxic people in your path is a good plan... make sure first that you are working on yourself too... I hold no secrets to your future to share with you, but I will keep you in my prayers as you continue your quest. Keep making today better than yesterday... you will get there.

Thank you. It’s been a bizarre journey. I keep a journal. I might use it to write a book about my life one day. As painful as the past few years have been. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
The people I’m talking about is actually worse than I wrote about. The more I distance myself from them. The more I find out.

 

[Golddollar]

A belated Happy Birthday to you. Today start the rest of your life by going down to the local gun shop and picking out a new gun to you and go forth to master it.

 

[bruce5781]

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Sent from my SM-G781U1 using Tapatalk

 

[Tom S.]

Happy Birthday, now give yourself the best present ever by re-evaluating your current life and where you want to be.

Get your life in order. Real friends will help you do this. Those who don't aren't friends and should be discarded. The same applies for family. People say you can't pick your family and that's true, but you can pick those you will listen to and interact with.

At your age, you should already have a career path firmly established but I'm not sure law enforcement is a wise choice for you. You already have a lot of drama without choosing a career that is steeped in drama.

Our country is currently in great need of skilled workers. This is true in the building trades (carpenters, framers, cement, masonry, HVAC, etc.) as well as specialty trades areas such as welding, machine repair, tool and die, machinists, electricians and pipe fitters. Any one of these trades can be learned with on the job training that pays as you go and will result in high paying job with benefits. Many of them can also lead to your own business later if you so chose. None of the aforementioned contain the daily stress levels that law enforcement does either.

Shy away from the "the world owes me everything" attitude so many seem to have today and develop an attitude that you will deliver a fair day's work for a fair day's pay and show up on time every day. Most employers will go out of their way for workers who are dedicated to their job and demonstrate that dedication by being there when needed and working without being told what to do every minute.

Set obtainable goals for short and long term. Decide where you want to be in 6 months as well as 5 years from now, then work to achieve those goals but learn to endure setbacks. As stated before, true friends will help you obtain those goals. People who prevent or hinder you are not friends, whether they are related to you or not.

 

[jeffrefrig]

I turned 31 in March, too, but 35 years ago. At that time I had 4 felonies dropped for beating a guy up. Police dropped charges. Long story. I had just finished electrical School and was in HVACR school, finished that and started a new, very fruitful career in '88. Moved away from my hometown and life just got better from there. I'm not sure of what all your car needs but if financially able, go for it. You'll never have another one. Then get away from all the toxic people in your life. Good luck. That's easier said than done. When you get your health, etc., back to semi normal consider getting a dog. They love you for you.
That Torino sounds like a cool car. My good friend (RIP) had a cherry Torino fastback something or other, around '70 +/- vintage, 428 CJ engine, among a couple nice Harleys & other classics. I always wanted one.
Remember John Kay & Steppenwolf's "It's Never Too Late."
Tri-power 427! I think I remember you put a couple pics up, not sure, but if you can post one, I'd be a happy, jealous camper!
Jeff T., PGH

 

[SAFireman]

Sounds like you need a change of scenery.

Bruce (bruce5781) is in your neck of the woods, well, E Texas anyhow, and he is a great guy. I suggest you get a cup of coffee with someone who has been-there, done-that, and has the T-shirt. His meme is right on the money.....

Get a small piece of land away from the drama, pay it off, and move on with your life. Find a reliable car/truck/van - it doesn't have to be pretty, just get you to work every day on time, the rest will work itself out....the Torino sounds like a neat project, but not what you need for an everyday job.

If you were down my way we could sit and chat. If you are ever around this neck of the woods shoot me a PM.

Better days are ahead brother!

 

[Ghost Magnum]

The world doesn’t ow me anything. I have no ill will towards anyone. The point I was trying to make is the entire world around ground to a halt after my car accident. Then everything and everyone turned on me or drifted away from me. I have a pretty good resume that I hope to add to. It’s not much of a career problem. It’s a life problem. I wasn’t trying to complain about friends or family. It’s just I have none left other then a few that was there for me. I lost so much in the past few years it feels like god wants me to leave. It’s weird

Edit: I found my niche in automotive wiring I do plan to study in.
I’m not giving up security or LE though.

 

[jaguargolf]

A known practice for mental health professionals is to listen for the one brief statement the patient makes that defines their issue.

Notice I did not say problem.

You said it yourself: Re-affirm your faith in g(G)od; re-discover yourself.

You spelled God with a small g. It's hard to have faith in small letter g God. Give Him His due.

Maybe first you have to recognize your definition of yourself, not re-discover. Your definition of yourself is your conscience. Walk your own path.

You are a young adult. You seem like a good person. Go live your best life.

 

[raljr1]

I started to write some words of advice and realized that the best advice I can offer is to trust in God and yourself, find work that makes you happy, and distance yourself from folks who bring you down, even if they are blood relatives.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Robert

 

[F4phantom]

I had my spinal column almost severed. Lost everything from the waist down. I have neuropathy in my feet and still can't run. On top of all that I was being laid off my job as soon as I got out of the hospital. Finally in rehab I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and set a new goal for myself. I aimed for it and never looked back. That was back in 2005 and retired when I was 70 in 2016.

Take one day at a time and stay on track. I was fortunate to have a wife who kept me grounded and moving forward. She was a task master.

Where do you go from here...where you want to, it's up to you to control and make it happen.

 

[pharmer]

1) The world doesn’t ow me anything. 2)I have no ill will towards anyone. 3) The point I was trying to make is the entire world around ground to a halt after my car accident. Then everything and everyone turned on me or drifted away from me.

1) Great starting point.
2) Great perspective.
3) You ain't dead so you "won." I don't know where you go from here but it needs to be forward, nothing in the rear view mirror counts. I ain't much of a sailor (landlubber here) but sounds like you have that "first time on the ocean out of sight of land" experience. Scared the **** out of me at 13 but "Captain Richard" assured me the compass is never wrong. It isn't. Don't ask for directions, take a reading, plot a course (always forward), keep a record of "time and distance" and you will arrive where you want to go. I wish I was 31 but that happened in 1984. Best wishes. Joe

 

[BSA1]

You mention being in a accident and hurting your leg. Is there a insurance settlement coming your way? Is your leg injury going to be a permanent disability?

My son was drifting working menial jobs and living with toxic roommates we did a intervention and moved him back home. Then we had a family conference discussion his future and came up with joining the Army. It has worked out great for him over the years. Like many jobs it has it’s share of ups and downs. Joining the military has a lot of advantages for you such as;

1. Getting away from toxic friends and family
2. Meeting new people and making new friends
3. Getting to see other parts of the country
4. Getting to visit other countries
5. Paid on the job training
6. You mention a interest in law enforcement. The military offers that career choice
7. Once you have a base assignment you can have your Torino with you. Living on base will give you money to fix it up.

Just a option to consider. But first, as suggested, you should be totally honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses and what you want most.

 

[Old Arkansawyer]

Strickly speaking from a layman's point of view, may I suggest getting in
touch with a qualified professional in the psychology field. Good luck.

 

[bigmtnman]

You mention - "I thought about buying a single axle camper. Get a trailer hitch installed on my Torino and just hit the road. Just drive around until I find where god wants me. I’m confident a tri power 427 can pull it. It sounds like a opening to a 80s Tv show. But that’s the idea I have."

Sometimes "going somewhere else and doing something different" works very well. It's a more or less "clean slate" and the freedom that comes with it. I'm "here" now ... that "other stuff" is back "there" and done with. "New and different" is exciting for it's possibilities. I have done it twice in my life. Once at 39 and again at 54. The classic song by Jo Dee Messina "Heads Carolina Tails California" always makes me think that is exactly what some people need to do....... "If it ain't working here, go somewhere else and do something different". You have my best wishes for finding your best path.
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