You Know, Sometimes I Can Be A Real Jerk

[Kentucky Dave]

Something else to think about

Let's say the two guys took offense at my asking them to move along the first time. I just created or escalated a situation that could have been avoided.

Also the guy I asked to move a long was either e resident or a visitor of a resident of the apartments and had every right to be there.

What happens if he or his "brother" go to the office and complain tomorrow?

Even if nothing else happens I've made an enemy. I don't see any upside to this.

Smoke,

After reading all the responses, it is clear you give yourself the best breakdown of the situations - unfortunately in retrospect.

Good news: no blood, no foul!

You obviously learned to at least attempt to put brain in gear before mouth - an EXTREMELY import thing if you're carrying! It's like, before you carry, you might not think twice about flipping off an butt-hole driver. But IF you behave that way while carrying, I don't want to know you...

 

[Doubless]

To the OP, I am glad things went well and you didn't find yourself in a situation that was bigger than you were. I am 60 years of age now, and the idea of tussling with someone younger and stronger than I am becomes more distasteful every day.

Now: to those of you who think he was perfectly within his right to challenge, I would say this: the first thing you learn in a CHL class is conflict resolution. That in no uncertain terms is letting a fire die out of its own accord rather than throwing fuel on it. For my money, letting sleeping dogs lie is the smart solution. Now: had there been break-ins, muggings, purse snatchings, etc., in the apartment complex, things are different.

I don't like vagrants any more than anyone else, but it isn't my circus, and they aren't my monkeys. In short, we all have to get along, and guilty until proven innocent won't work; especially if all they were doing was sitting there smoking a cigarette.

 

[sunnyd]

I just nod "no", then call the security guys to deal with the rest, unless they block my parking, at which point I call the local police.

Absolutely the right thing to do!

 

[hangnoose]

MY IDIOT MOMENT STORY.

THANK YOU to those for pointing out the fact that I could have easily been arrested and almost certainly found guilty. That was kinda the point of telling the story. 30+ years ago I was more concerned with protecting my only means of transportation and was a little less wise. I'm sure NONE OF YOU have an idiot moment story from your youth, or perhaps one more current.

 

[Hapworth]

THANK YOU to those for pointing out the fact that I could have easily been arrested and almost certainly found guilty. That was kinda the point of telling the story. 30+ years ago I was more concerned with protecting my only means of transportation and was a little less wise. I'm sure NONE OF YOU have an idiot moment story from your youth, or perhaps one more current.

Would yesterday do? If not, how about tomorrow?

 

[Yiogo]

Smoke, I agree with you. You should have said...no smokes...and walked away.

Tonight, while driving I must have been going to slowly for the pickup truck behind me because he blew his horn at me when I took my turn.
I remembered I had my 2 friends with me (Smith and Wesson) and just kept driving though I was tempted to sound my horn back at him.

At 66, I don't want to escalate any situation especially while carrying.

Yiogo

 

[Jiman]

I've dealt with lots of homeless folks throughout the years in DC….hundreds. I've locked some up, gotten into altercations with others, but for the most part they're harmless. They're not looking for trouble or a fight. Most are more worried about their own safety and welfare because they're assaulted often by other homeless folks or teenage kids.

I don't have to deal with them any more as a LEO, but I've found over the years that a lot of them are vets. I try to keep that in mind when I'm approached by them off duty now. It helps me temper the natural response of getting them away, ignoring them, or treating them like they're less of a person because of the situation they're in.

For the most part I just politely tell them I don't have any change or smokes but I rarely tell someone to go pound sand. IMO, every person deserves some level of respect and value as a human being. I think showing that respect holds more value and avoids more potential issues than coming off as a 'tough guy'. I know how to take care of myself and don't think I'm 'better' than anyone regardless of their position in life, so I don't need to prove it unless I absolutely have to.

I'm a strong believer in karma, and also that you can tell a lot about a person that treats someone respectfully when they don't have to (i.e. waitresses/waiters, flight attendants, etc…). I've had many more instances where someone I didn't know did something that really helped me out by being nice than the other way around. I'm not smart enough to know which people to treat well or not, so I choose to treat everyone respectfully to cover my basis, but I also carry a gun, spare mag, and a knife(s) JIC.

YMMV.

 

[hangnoose]

SET UPS?

When their stories are obviously false, there are more than 1 of them, your spidey sense starts tingling, GO WITH THAT. It's a shame, but we cannot be too trustful or naïve, lest we become victims. My little sister has been ruffied once & found in a bathroom stall unmolested, thank God, but she still takes NO MEASURES to be more aware of her surroundings & cautious with strangers, not to mention anti gun. I just know I am going to get a bad phone call some night. She claims I am too negative. I tell her it's not my job to look for the good or bad in anyone, just interpret the facts as I see/feel them to be to me. I tend to prepare for and expect the worst, and hope for the best. If that makes me Debbie Downer, I can live with it.

 

[Smoke]

THANK YOU to those for pointing out the fact that I could have easily been arrested and almost certainly found guilty. That was kinda the point of telling the story. 30+ years ago I was more concerned with protecting my only means of transportation and was a little less wise. I'm sure NONE OF YOU have an idiot moment story from your youth, or perhaps one more current.

Nope I've never had an idiot moment.

The biggest reason I comment on posts like that is because it amazes me how many people think that type of behavior is perfectly acceptable

 

[Smoke]

Sounds like a "hey, sorry bout the other day, I didn't recognize you guys from the apts and I kinda like to keep an eye on things" would solve the whole situation.

A couple of posters have suggested that I try to make amends to these people.

I want to be clear that even though my behavior was incorrect I still really get the sense that these people are trouble and that any attempt to apologize on my part would be seen as a sign of weakness.

I am positive that my best course of action is to just let it go.

 

[one eye joe]

SMOKE, I THINK THAT YOU HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF INSIGHT. ALL OF US HAVE A TENDENCY TO WRITE CHECKS WITH OUR MOUTHS, THAT OUR BODIES CAN'T CASH. I TRY TO KEEP MY TONGUE ON A LEASH, WHEN POSSIBLE…..
I LIKE JIMANS APPROACH. IF YOU CAN AVOID A PHYSICAL CONFRONTATION, YOU HAVE ALREADY WON. IF NOT, BE PREPARED TO WIN DECISIVELY…..

 

[hangnoose]

NEVER had an idiot moment?

In your whole life? That sounds kinda hard to swallow, AND DULL. Maybe there are some perfect beings on this planet after all.

 

[nocents]

A couple of posters have suggested that I try to make amends to these people.

no way no how....not today not tomorrow .....your first impression is probably right.....nice is overrated

 

[The Big D]

I always attempt to comport myself as a gentleman. But I never, ever give money to panhandlers. Having lived most of my life in big cities, (DC, Boston, NYC) there have been myriad requests received. I simply say 'no,' 'no cash,' or similar.

No reason to act like a tough guy or be unneccessarily mean to people.

Be safe.

 

[boatboy]

something I live by you cant pull back words or bullets
I helps my in some situations
Hank

 

[Smoke]

In your whole life? That sounds kinda hard to swallow, AND DULL. Maybe there are some perfect beings on this planet after all.

Maybe you should go read the OP again then take a really close look at WHO WROTE IT

 

[Protected One]

I was walking my dog about a week ago and had a run in with a mooch.

The halls in the Apartments I live in let onto an entry way before you go outside, so I open the door to the outside and there's a guy standing right off the steps and the first words out of his mouth are "excuse me, do you have a cigarette?"

A little background here, first, Mooches are one of my biggest pet peeves second the way he said it, with no hesitation at all tells me that this behavior is common to him and third the fact that his buddy was sitting there smoking sent up a red flag in my mind.

So, I told them I don't smoke (true) then asked them if they lived in our apartment complex.

More background we've had issues with homeless people trying to squat in our parking lot and around our buildings, we've also had several auto break ins .

They hemmed and hawed their answer so I told them "If you don't live here you need to leave now."

Anyway they took off. And I went about my business.

So, today I'm out walking my dog again and I ran into some young people sitting (early 20s) on the steps of one of our buildings. One of them tells me I have a nice dog then asks if it's my dog.

I'm sorry but that's a stupid question and (for me) it raises red flags because I'm wondering why this random person is trying to engage me in some nonsensical conversation. (I've had people use similar behaviors to get close to me then attack) so I look at the guy and say "Nope, I stole her."

And he just looks at me like he doesn't know what to say and I keep on moving. His buddy says "Sorry for asking." And I'm still moving.

Then the first guy looks at me and says "By the way Sir if you harass my brother again I will call the Police on you." I'm thinking what the Hell?" and I say "By all means please do" (still moving away) and the guy says something about how he's going to pray for me and God bless me and have a nice day.

By this point I'm not saying anything I'm just leaving the area and it wasn't till I got home that I put two and two together and realized that the "brother" must have been the mooch.

The thing that I have to remember is that no matter how wrong these guys were (and both of them make the hair on the back of my neck stand up) I escalated the situation with my mouth.

I don't have the authority to ask anyone to leave the apartment complex homeless or otherwise and in both cases my mouth could have written a check that my butt couldn't cash.

My problem is that I tend to forget my mouth is loaded and get to playing with it and have it go off.

I need to find a way to get that one split second to think about what I'm going to say before I open my mouth.

You don't need any special "authority" to ask someone to leave. Now, telling them to (which is esentially what you did) is another matter.
Still, all things considered, I have no problem with it.

 

[CH4]

Based on what you said, you didn't do anything wrong. Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers. quid pro quo! Yes, you have the authority to ask people to leave, it's your property; doesn't matter if you own or rent.

 

[Rastoff]

I don't know about Colorado, but in California you have the right to request someone to leave your property. It doesn't matter if you own or rent. If they don't leave within a reasonable amount of time, you can physically remove them. (CA Penal Code 602 I'm not going to quote it because it's long and annoying, but you can read it for yourself to verify what I've said above.)

That's the law. The question is, were the people in the OP on public or private property? If they were on the steps of the building, they were on private property. If they were on the side walk, they were on public property.

So, where were they standing/sitting?

 

[Smoke]

I don't know about Colorado, but in California you have the right to request someone to leave your property. It doesn't matter if you own or rent. If they don't leave within a reasonable amount of time, you can physically remove them. (CA Penal Code 602 I'm not going to quote it because it's long and annoying, but you can read it for yourself to verify what I've said above.)

That's the law. The question is, were the people in the OP on public or private property? If they were on the steps of the building, they were on private property. If they were on the side walk, they were on public property.

So, where were they standing/sitting?

My building is situated on the interior of the complex you'd have to walk a half a block in either direction to get to a public sidewalk or street.