Faulkner
Member
Well, back in October I had a little mishap with a big black stray dog while I was riding my Harley. The short version of this part of the story is the bike and I ended up in a 3 foot ditch. As the bike came to an unexpected semi-controlled stop in the ditch I lowered my head so that my helmet took out the windshield and my neck slammed the top of the batwing cowling as I catapulted over the front. I landed on my butt sitting in the ditch without a scratch on me. Unfortunately, my beloved 2007 Electra Glide Ultra was totaled.
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and called the sheriff's office dispatch.
"County dispatch, how may I help you?"
"Hey Jessica, this is Unit 4 off duty. I just ran my Harley in the ditch on Short Road. No one else involved except a dead dog. Can you send a deputy out to do a report?" I asked her.
"Holy cow Faulkner, are you all right? Do I need to send the EMTs? "
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just send a deputy."
"Okay, Unit 18 is pretty close, he's on his way."
Less than ten minutes later one of my co-workers arrives and he conducts an accident investigation, takes pictures and completes an accident report. I asked him to do a portable Breathalyzer test on me for the record, which shows up zero. Once that's done, he advises I probably need to go by the ER and get checked out. Instead, I asked him to give me a ride home, I'll come back and get the bike later.
So, the first lesson I learned that day was this; When you leave home on your highly polished and babied Harley Davidson motorcycle, and show back up about 45 minutes later in a police car and covered in mud, your wife will go berserk on you. At least mine did. She immediately noted the diagonal red mark across my neck and wanted to know where else I was hurt.
"Honest babe, I'm not hurt." I told her.
"Doesn't matter, we're going to get you checked out!" She looked at the deputy and he nodded back affirmative.
"He needs to go get checked out," he said.
I squinted back at him as if burning a couple of holes through him. I think he decided this was a domestic situation he didn't want in the middle of so he gave his regards and left.
Forty-five minute later, after a quick shower and a change of clothes, we pull up into the ER entrance. (Yes, I lost).
The second lesson I learned on that day is when you walk into an ER and casually mention "motorcycle accident" they will move you to the front of the line.
Even though I didn't seem to be any worse for wear, they immediately rushed me into ER and did a physical examination, x rays, and a CT scan. They seemed to keep focusing on my neck and asking questions about my airway;
"No doctor, I'm not in any pain. Yes, I took a pretty good lick across my neck. No, I never lost my breath. No, I was never unconscious. Yes, I was wearing full gear including a helmet. Yes, I can breathe just fine. Yes, there is some slight discomfort when I swallow."
The ER doctor advised he was calling in an ear, nose and throat doctor to take a look. Thirty minutes later the ENT shows up and does a thorough examination, then advises the ER nurse, "prep him for surgery."
Doctor turns to me and says, "Mr. Faulkner, you took a pretty good hit on your larynx. I can't tell if you have damaged your airway or not because of the swelling, which is only going to get worse in the near term. If you have an opening in your airway it's a bad thing. We are going to prep you for surgery and you get to spend the night in ICU under constant supervision. As the swelling goes down one of two things will happen. Either we'll confirm there is no damage to the airway and you can go home, or determine there is damage and we'll take you into surgery to correct it."
My bride of 30 years was standing there and gave me the look only a husband would recognize; "I told you so!"
Funny thing is, I didn't really take any of this seriously until they came and took my pants, my wallet, and my badge, put me in one of those open backed gowns, loaded me on a gurney and hauled my pitiful self to ICU. Boy, this was the day my momma always warned me about so I'm glad I put on clean underwear after the accident!
All of this was a new experience for me, I've never been in the hospital before. Once I was placed in ICU they hooked me up to a IV on the left arm, EKG probes across my chest, then a blood pressure cuff and other probes on the right arm. I was introduced to ICU Nurse Christy, and she advised me she would be monitoring me and physically checking my neck every 30 minutes. She was very pleasant, very professional, and I was quite comforted by her presence.
During the first 30 minute check, Nurse Christy brought in a little plastic jug with a handle and hug it on the bed's handrail.
"You're going to need this when the IV fluid runs through you," she said.
"What is it?"
She smiles and says, "It's a urinal."
"Can't I just get up and go to the restroom?"
"No sir, there is not a patient restroom in ICU. Besides, we need to measure and check your urine for blood." Well, that's interesting.
I lay there and pondered the situation for a moment.
"Ma'am, I can't use that thing lying flat on my back. If you'll unplug these wires and the pneumatic tube to the blood pressure cuff on my right arm, I'll swing over to the left side of the bed, stand up and take care of business in that little jug."
At that point Nurse Christy kind of turned up the intensity level a bit. "Mr. Faulkner, YOU are in ICU. We are not unplugging anything. If you can't comply with this little request, I'll have no choice but to come back with a catheter."
Catheter!! I don't think so. Well, two can play at this game, so I put my best LE face on . . . "Nurse Christy, I am a veteran law enforcement officer. I am not hurt and I am not infirm. I have a sore throat. You folks may have taken my pants and my badge, but you and five other people won't be able to come in here and give me a catheter!"
We stared at other a good 10 seconds when she finally rolled her eyes, smiled, and said, "God almighty, are you going to be a big baby about this?"
"Yes ma'am. I'm afraid so."
She came over to the right side of the bed and unhooked all the stuff from my right arm so I could swing over and take care of business. Man, by then did I need to go! On top of everything else I was afraid that little jug wasn't going to be big enough. Thankfully I was able to shut 'er down just before it overflowed.
That done, I got back in bed and Nurse Christy plugged everything back up. She got me all tucked in and checked my neck once more, then pleasantly asked if I needed anything.
"No thank you. You've been most kind."
Thirty minutes later she came back for another check. When she came in, though, she flung the curtains open and standing there behind her were ten of her co-workers.
Nurse Christy had grin on her face and said, "Mr. Faulkner, are you going to be any trouble this time?"
I looked at her, then looked at the ten people standing behind her, and sheepishly replied, "no ma'am."
Third thing I learned that day, don't mess with the ICU nurse.
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and called the sheriff's office dispatch.
"County dispatch, how may I help you?"
"Hey Jessica, this is Unit 4 off duty. I just ran my Harley in the ditch on Short Road. No one else involved except a dead dog. Can you send a deputy out to do a report?" I asked her.
"Holy cow Faulkner, are you all right? Do I need to send the EMTs? "
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just send a deputy."
"Okay, Unit 18 is pretty close, he's on his way."
Less than ten minutes later one of my co-workers arrives and he conducts an accident investigation, takes pictures and completes an accident report. I asked him to do a portable Breathalyzer test on me for the record, which shows up zero. Once that's done, he advises I probably need to go by the ER and get checked out. Instead, I asked him to give me a ride home, I'll come back and get the bike later.
So, the first lesson I learned that day was this; When you leave home on your highly polished and babied Harley Davidson motorcycle, and show back up about 45 minutes later in a police car and covered in mud, your wife will go berserk on you. At least mine did. She immediately noted the diagonal red mark across my neck and wanted to know where else I was hurt.
"Honest babe, I'm not hurt." I told her.
"Doesn't matter, we're going to get you checked out!" She looked at the deputy and he nodded back affirmative.
"He needs to go get checked out," he said.
I squinted back at him as if burning a couple of holes through him. I think he decided this was a domestic situation he didn't want in the middle of so he gave his regards and left.
Forty-five minute later, after a quick shower and a change of clothes, we pull up into the ER entrance. (Yes, I lost).
The second lesson I learned on that day is when you walk into an ER and casually mention "motorcycle accident" they will move you to the front of the line.
Even though I didn't seem to be any worse for wear, they immediately rushed me into ER and did a physical examination, x rays, and a CT scan. They seemed to keep focusing on my neck and asking questions about my airway;
"No doctor, I'm not in any pain. Yes, I took a pretty good lick across my neck. No, I never lost my breath. No, I was never unconscious. Yes, I was wearing full gear including a helmet. Yes, I can breathe just fine. Yes, there is some slight discomfort when I swallow."
The ER doctor advised he was calling in an ear, nose and throat doctor to take a look. Thirty minutes later the ENT shows up and does a thorough examination, then advises the ER nurse, "prep him for surgery."
Doctor turns to me and says, "Mr. Faulkner, you took a pretty good hit on your larynx. I can't tell if you have damaged your airway or not because of the swelling, which is only going to get worse in the near term. If you have an opening in your airway it's a bad thing. We are going to prep you for surgery and you get to spend the night in ICU under constant supervision. As the swelling goes down one of two things will happen. Either we'll confirm there is no damage to the airway and you can go home, or determine there is damage and we'll take you into surgery to correct it."
My bride of 30 years was standing there and gave me the look only a husband would recognize; "I told you so!"
Funny thing is, I didn't really take any of this seriously until they came and took my pants, my wallet, and my badge, put me in one of those open backed gowns, loaded me on a gurney and hauled my pitiful self to ICU. Boy, this was the day my momma always warned me about so I'm glad I put on clean underwear after the accident!
All of this was a new experience for me, I've never been in the hospital before. Once I was placed in ICU they hooked me up to a IV on the left arm, EKG probes across my chest, then a blood pressure cuff and other probes on the right arm. I was introduced to ICU Nurse Christy, and she advised me she would be monitoring me and physically checking my neck every 30 minutes. She was very pleasant, very professional, and I was quite comforted by her presence.
During the first 30 minute check, Nurse Christy brought in a little plastic jug with a handle and hug it on the bed's handrail.
"You're going to need this when the IV fluid runs through you," she said.
"What is it?"
She smiles and says, "It's a urinal."
"Can't I just get up and go to the restroom?"
"No sir, there is not a patient restroom in ICU. Besides, we need to measure and check your urine for blood." Well, that's interesting.
I lay there and pondered the situation for a moment.
"Ma'am, I can't use that thing lying flat on my back. If you'll unplug these wires and the pneumatic tube to the blood pressure cuff on my right arm, I'll swing over to the left side of the bed, stand up and take care of business in that little jug."
At that point Nurse Christy kind of turned up the intensity level a bit. "Mr. Faulkner, YOU are in ICU. We are not unplugging anything. If you can't comply with this little request, I'll have no choice but to come back with a catheter."
Catheter!! I don't think so. Well, two can play at this game, so I put my best LE face on . . . "Nurse Christy, I am a veteran law enforcement officer. I am not hurt and I am not infirm. I have a sore throat. You folks may have taken my pants and my badge, but you and five other people won't be able to come in here and give me a catheter!"
We stared at other a good 10 seconds when she finally rolled her eyes, smiled, and said, "God almighty, are you going to be a big baby about this?"
"Yes ma'am. I'm afraid so."
She came over to the right side of the bed and unhooked all the stuff from my right arm so I could swing over and take care of business. Man, by then did I need to go! On top of everything else I was afraid that little jug wasn't going to be big enough. Thankfully I was able to shut 'er down just before it overflowed.
That done, I got back in bed and Nurse Christy plugged everything back up. She got me all tucked in and checked my neck once more, then pleasantly asked if I needed anything.
"No thank you. You've been most kind."
Thirty minutes later she came back for another check. When she came in, though, she flung the curtains open and standing there behind her were ten of her co-workers.
Nurse Christy had grin on her face and said, "Mr. Faulkner, are you going to be any trouble this time?"
I looked at her, then looked at the ten people standing behind her, and sheepishly replied, "no ma'am."
Third thing I learned that day, don't mess with the ICU nurse.
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