I'm certainly not the World's expert here, but I think the problem with the forcing cone of the K-frame Magnums splitting is caused when High Velocity 110 and 125 grain Jacketed bullets get fired into a forcing cone that is leaded up a little bit.
We have here several K-frame guns that have been "civilized" by going through a re-issue process in the firey shop of "Tim the Enchanter" that leaves them as K-frame .38 Specials allowing them to be registered here in Bananaland. Obviously, they will still function with higher pressure loadings in .38 Special casings.
Look though I may, I could find no evidence that using 158 grain or 170 grain Lead bullets at high velocity in itself caused the problem. The problem seemed to always be caused by firing the higher velocity jacketed rounds into an already dirtied forcing cone.
Since the only "powerful" rounds we can get here are ones we make ourselves -- and all the bullets are cast lead -- we have not had a problem. We basically use the same .38/44 load you refer to, as a matter of fact. Our factory .38 Special load, when available, is the Aguila 158 grain lead bullet with a bullet so soft you could stuff your pillows with them, so there's not much danger of someone following up a day of Heavy Duty loads by shooting a .38 Jacketed round into the cone -- which perhaps would be enough to cause a split in itself.
Myself, I'd tell you to shoot your revolver in confidence as long as you stick to either the 158 grain lead load you mention, or a heavier 170 grain 356429 could even be substituted safely. (Our most powerful load we use is the 356429 above 13.5 grains of 2400, although we usually load one grain lighter for "regular use"). We have had no problems, and have several K's in the group.
We shoot more than you might think we would, and I'll be the first to report it if we crack a forcing cone. I hope this unqualifed opinion is of use to you.