A little humor...usually at someone elses expense.

[Protocall_Design]

I worked in the tool & die shop at Boeing. One day someone sent a new guy to get a #2 Blue Sky Hook. We told him to have a seat over there while we look for one. We fabbed one up out of some scrap steel, stamped #2 on it with large steel stamps and spray painted it blue. It was done in around 20 minutes.

We gave it to him, told him what was going on, and told him to let us know their reaction. He came by later that day and said the look on their faces when he actually came back with it was priceless!

 

[Goldstar225]

I once was party to a manager at the hardware store messing with a newbie... sent the young man off in search of a Metric Crescent wrench... I thought that the manager was going to soil himself after the young man took off with such enthusiasm...

I pulled this one on my wife this past Christmas.

It backfired on me big time.

I told her that for my Christmas I needed and didn't have a metric crescent wrench.

On Christmas day I opened a fairly heavy package containing a nice set of CRESCENT brand metric open and box end wrenches.

 

[Walkin Horse]

One time some plumbers needed me to cut a hole in roof decking. They humped a set of torches and bottles up there and had them mostly set up. When I got there the oxygen gauge was hung. It didn't really matter, it works anyway. So if you look at the screenshot of a gauge it says Use No Oil. So I says boys we got a problem. We need a can of No Oil. So back down two ladders and several flights of steps they go looking for No Oil. I almost ran out of cigarettes waiting on them to come back.

 

[deadin]

Ah yes... Prop Wash, Water Line, Electric Rake, Bucket of Steam.
Anybody here been shown a Sea Bat or looked at the stars through a P-Coat Sleeve?

 

[30-30remchester]

As a kid I was required to work with older men. The teasing was endless. When I was underfoot to often I was given a tape measure and told to fetch a 2x4. Retrieving it I was told I had got the wrong size as I had gotten a 4x2 instead. And back I would go looking for the correct board.

 

[Old 44 Guy]

I once had a good friend, very large guy when following a car that the driver did not use the directionals. He would follow the guy until he stopped then asked the guy if his car was under warranty, if so take it back because your turn signals don't work. He got away with it because of his size.

 

[charlie sherrill]

A shipboard indoctrination for a new sailor wouldn't be complete until they had been sent on a search for either sound powered phone batteries or relative bearing grease.

Our favorite was to send them for a squeegy sharpener or a sky hook.

 

[S&W Fan]

When my son joined the Army just over 20 years ago I warned him about being sent to get a box of grid squares during land nav exercises.

 

[STCM(SW)]

On the one ship I was on the BM on duty went over the 1 MC that the Master chief has a Sea Bat on the fan tail. A seaman comes up to take a look at it. Asked me if it real. I said "Would a Master Chief lie to you?"
He was only with a towel around him. When the First Class BM whacked him with the broom, he was cursing under his breath about me...
LOL!

 

[chief38]

My one requirement of friends, neighbors and family is that they have the ability to laugh at themselves! People who take themselves too seriously and can't take a joke are usually not the ones I enjoy being around. The one thing that sort of stands out in my personality is my sense of humor.

Yes, I can take some good clean ribbing as well. When my best friend of 67 years (lives down the street from me) gets in my car and doesn't throw a rank out or funny comment at me, I ask him what is wrong! LOL!! If we are in the car with 3 or 4 others, they always mention that we should charge for the show - HA! LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!!

 

[ladder13]

If you can't take a joke or have thin skin you better never make firefighting your career.

 

[pharmer]

When I was building the Japan Pavilion at EPCOT I had a couple of "seasoned" carpenters working with a brand new laborer (college kid working for the Summer). The sent him to the tool crib for a box of 16 penny nails (50 lb and at least 1/4 mi away). He comes back and they both commence giving him ****: "Whatcha' bring those for! the head is on the wrong end! Those are left handed nails, we need right handers!" Poor guy says: "You want me to go back and get the right ones?" "Naw, just leave 'em, we'll use them on the other side of the building." Joe

 

[NYlakesider]

My one requirement of friends, neighbors and family is that they have the ability to laugh at themselves! People who take themselves too seriously and can't take a joke are usually not the ones I enjoy being around. The one thing that sort of stands out in my personality is my sense of humor.

Yes, I can take some good clean ribbing as well. When my best friend of 67 years (lives down the street from me) gets in my car and doesn't throw a rank out or funny comment at me, I ask him what is wrong! LOL!! If we are in the car with 3 or 4 others, they always mention that we should charge for the show - HA! LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!!

Right you are if you dish it out be prepared to take it!-

On most decent construction sites there is a lot of friendly arguetoning going on. That was a term my oldest guy on the job used to say a lot!-

 

[chief38]

Life is way too short to not laugh at yourself. I am probably my own worst critic!

 

[Kenna]

The new guys were always asked to go get the board stretcher out of the boss truck. One guy actually bit,till he saw boss and I smiling.

 

[deadin]

Hey Master Chief,
Same sort of thing on my ship only the broom wielder was distracted and when he turned back there was a posterior leaning over the bucket so he whacked it a good one.
What he failed to notice is that said posterior wasn't clothed in dungaree, but khaki. Turned out to be a LT from one of the air groups. (Luckily he had a sense of humor)

 

[ladder13]

My one requirement of friends, neighbors and family is that they have the ability to laugh at themselves! People who take themselves too seriously and can't take a joke are usually not the ones I enjoy being around. The one thing that sort of stands out in my personality is my sense of humor.

Yes, I can take some good clean ribbing as well. When my best friend of 67 years (lives down the street from me) gets in my car and doesn't throw a rank out or funny comment at me, I ask him what is wrong! LOL!! If we are in the car with 3 or 4 others, they always mention that we should charge for the show - HA! LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!!

Rank out? It's been years that I have heard that one. Brings back memories.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

My experiences with pranksters and "humorists"-especially of the malicious and sadistic variety-is "they can dish it out but they can't take it."
Perusing the Web, I saw a reference to the "smart alecky atmosphere in the Army." and the military has far too many "humorists" who know they have a captive audience.
Thanks to his big ego Patton never grasped that when he did his foul mouth routine people weren't laughing with him, they were laughing AT him.

 

[lkabug]

When I was around 6 or so and my foster dad was working on building a house or an addition, to keep me out of the way, he would send me after a dozen 1/2 inch auger holes. I would "run" to the store and ask for a dozen auger holes.
Fresh out, they would say, ask him if 16/32nd will do. And that's how my day would go.
But I stayed out of dad's way and out of trouble.

 

[sniper]

In Radar Tech School, a newbie usually got sent to Supply for "A couple of Fallopian Tubes for the radar set".