ASK A STUPID QUESTION

[Ilike9mm]

Got to be the best thread this week!!!!!


I was in Berkeley buying stuff at a yarn shop (?), she asked do you want a bag? "No I already have a wife". If looks could kill...

 

[jgh4445]

I stopped at the Dairy Queen one day and got a drink. The young girl behind the counter asked, Would you like that in a bag? I replied, no ma'am, bags leak. Please put it in a cup!

Heard a comedian tell the story about the thing that ticked him off most in the check out line. He said it was when the clerk has rung up the last item, they look at you and say, "Is that all?" The comedian responded, "Of course that is all..if it wasn't all, I'd get whatever "it" is and put it up here for you to ring up with the other stuff you rang up!"

 

[bgrone]

Questions

Before smoking was banned in most restruants when asked if I had a smoking preference I would answer "menthols".A female telemarketer asked one day when I answered "and how are you today?" I replied " not worth a d*** I fell running to answer the phone and I think I broke my leg so if you'll excuse me iI have to hang up and call the EMTs.

 

[blujax01]

...
I think some of this comes from having to read, "It Takes a Village" for classic literature in school. ...

Wait, what?

 

[NYlakesider]

Being my lovely wife of 43+ years does not get on this forum I'm free to post one of my favorites.

In a store or out somewhere and someone asks "How's your wife" My normal reply "is better than nothing!"

 

[DeadAye]

I took a contractor (Arnold) out to breakfast one morning and he complained about everything on his plate - Mine was pretty good, btw.
So after giving the waitress a hard time he told her that he wanted to see the manager.
A rather young lady presented herself as *The Manager* and let him go on and on about what he didn't like about the food - I just kept eating.
When he was done she asked, "Do you really think that I care what you think of our food?"
Arnold told her *I'll never eat here again!!!*
Her reply - "Mission accomplished"

I, and a lot of our crew (but not Arnold), ate there a lot after that -
*The Manager* turned out to be just one of the waitresses -
They took turns dealing with the Arnolds....

P.S. Dealing with Arnold was never fun -- I could write a book about him if I knew how to write.

 

[handejector]

They are doing their job, people. There is a stupid, STUPID, STUPID Federal law that requires it.

What they don't need is stupid people giving stupid answers to the stupid question that the stupid law requires.

But, but, but.........
How else will they know how CLEVER we are???

 

[Alpo]

You should not make me laugh SO hard, SO early in the morning. I almost strangled on my coffee.

 

[jdh]

YES clerks may be req'd to ask stupid ?'s. WE on the other hand are not REQ'D to give ANY particular kind of response and can give ANY answer WE FEEL LIKE, or not answer AT ALL. if it let's them know we don't appreciate nosy stupid ?'s, may give someone else, or just ourselves, a laugh, or not. that's up to us, certainly not YOU. I think calling a bunch of smart A's stupid, is stupid. that's my right and my opinion. not everything in life has, or needs to have a point. some peoples point is on the top of their head.

Pick the right person on whom to spew your venom. Degrading a minimum wage employee who is dong the job they way they are told to do the job so that they might be able to keep the job does not make you some sort of god like creature. It makes you a common jerk. Don't like the questions complain to management instead of making the life of someone who has no power to rectify your complaints more miserable than they already are, just to make yourself feel superior.

 

[Long Barrel]

Dumb Question

My last trip overseas (thankfully, I now no longer travel for business), there was a big delay in the jetway. Someone was stopping each passenger for a conversation. As I got up to the congestion, I could see he was a younger man in a business suit with an ID badge stuck on the pocket.

When he got to me, he said, "I'm with the Treasury Department. Do you have more than $10,000 in cash with you on this trip?" So this idiot was holding up boarding for 20 minutes, hoping to find someone hiding a big wad of cash, who would just admit to it under very casual questioning. What decent bad guy would say yes? This process struck me as really stupid, a complete waste of a Federal Agency's time, so I replied" Are you guys out of money AGAIN?. I gave you all my spare money in April!" And just like the story says, he had no sense of humor that he was aware of. I was the last passenger on board, 20 minutes later.

 

[smokey04]

When I walk into a nice restaurant with my wife on my arm the "hostess" asks "How many?" I always have the inclination to say 18. When they look around in confusion I want to say,"the little league team is out in the parking lot". I don't normally do it but, boy the temptation is there! Get thee behind me ya ol' debel!" Nick

 

[the ringo kid]

The only place I've ever been asked if my ammo was for a rifle or a pistol was at WalMart. When buying .22 (back in the old days when you STILL COULD buy .22 ammo at WalMart) The checker asks if it's for a rifle or pistol I say, "both". I love to watch their faces as the confusion sets in. But sir, I need to know if it's for a rifle or a pistol. I repeat that it's for both. A couple of times the checker called for a manager and he'd ask me if it was for a rifle or a pistol. I just look him in the they eye with a blank look on my face and say "Both". No matter how many times they ask me I just say one word....BOTH. They finally just give up and take my money and cut me loose. That's a lot of fun.

Question. Why do they ask what type of gun your using it for? 1) Its none of their business. 2) Its none of their business. 3 etc) Its none of their business.

I just bought 3 boxes of .22 from Wm today-the guy only said: "Have a nice day" I replied: "I already did." Walked out with my ammo in tow.

Simply put-ive never been asked that before-just like in the days (many many years ago) when I could go in and buy all the Beer and spirits I wanted--and I was never IDed--even though I was below purchasing age.

 

[Knuckledragger]

At Walmart I always answer, "it's for dinner... I feed my kids lead chips."

 

[shouldazagged]

When filling out forms that have a block marked "Sex" I put a "Y" or the word "Seldom"

Years ago when I was between jobs in my profession (funding cuts, go figure) I worked for a few months for a headhunting (employee placement) agency. We had a questionnaire for applicants to fill out. One day a little old lady came in, worked on the form for no more than five minutes, and left. When the receptionist looked at the questionnaire, under "sex" she had written "Once, in Birmingham." We never saw her again, and concluded she had only needed to confess.

 

[oberon]

Grocery store checkout girl: Would you like your potatoes in a bag?
Me: No, thanks, I prefer to carry them out individually.

 

[OLDFED]

The change from "Hello" or "Goodbye" has both amused or angered me, especially when today's "goodbye" is, "Have a nice rest of your day." This usually comes from pinheads who can't think past an IPhone. I recently went into a coffee shop and the lad asked, "How would you like your coffee?" With a straight face, I said, "In a cup." It took him about 4 seconds to recover. I guess it wasn't in his text message and he couldn't readily compute the answer.

 

[Marshwheeling]

I could go in and buy all the Beer and spirits I wanted--and I was never IDed--even though I was below purchasing age.

"I don't need ID. I'm over 21."

 

[walkin jack]

Question. Why do they ask what type of gun your using it for? 1) Its none of their business. 2) Its none of their business. 3 etc) Its none of their business.

I just bought 3 boxes of .22 from Wm today-the guy only said: "Have a nice day" I replied: "I already did." Walked out with my ammo in tow.

Simply put-ive never been asked that before-just like in the days (many many years ago) when I could go in and buy all the Beer and spirits I wanted--and I was never IDed--even though I was below purchasing age.

I have asked that very question a time or two and all I ever got for an answer was, "I don't know, but we are supposed to ask." I don't believe that they are required to do it any more though. I never found out why they did it and I never found out why they stopped doing it.

 

[Cyrano]

We used to go to a biker bar in Albuquerque when we went up for the gun show. The law was that had to card EVERYONE. My friend fought inthe Battle of the Bulge and I'm about 10 years younger than he. Sometimes they were aplogetic, but if they were arrogant, I'd show them my CCW; at the time New Mexico didn't have a CW law and that scared them a little. Never got asked if I was carrying, however.

 

[wbraswell]

It irks me when I drive up to the squawk box at the local Burger Doodle, for breakfast. I order a biscuit or something and milk. They ask, "White milk or chocolate milk?" I just want to scream at the speaker, "If I wanted ******* chocolate milk, I would have said I wanted ******* chocolate milk!" Funny how the same place won't ask you what you want on your burger, you get it how they make it.