Stupid stuff people say to LE

[LVSteve]

Used to hear some zingers on the show Cops, and people haven't got any smarter since that show aired. We had a drunk passenger kicked off a plane here in Vegas yesterday. At some point she came up with this gem

Also, according to the report, Diaz told officers that they had no right to arrest her because she was an attorney.

Unruly passenger arrested at Harry Reid Airport | KSNV

Got any more recent ones?

 

[swsig]

Did she have a shirt on?

 

[biku324]

"I have nothing to hide." - every guilty person.

 

[ladder13]

 

[S42N8]

"Why, no, officer, I have no idea why you pulled me over" - every driver on southbound I-75 past the I-275 exit.

 

[lihpster]

My brother's buddy smarting off to the officer that pulled my brother over when asked if there were any weapons in the car: "Does dynamite count? It's for fishing!" The search took awhile.

 

[Hugh WW]

My all time favorite

Do you know who I am?

Sadly most of my snappy comebacks as a traffic cop in the 1970's would get me spanked by the Big Gorilla

 

[jscheck]

I heard the joke but never thought I'd hear it on the job, kid actually told me he was speeding because he was "almost out of gas" and "trying to get to the gas station "! You can't make this up!

 

[Old cop]

My absolute favorite is; "I know my rights" b/c they almost always don't, getting themselves into more trouble.

 

[WardenRoss]

"Mam, you failed to come to a complete stop at the sign."


She replied "The sign says STOP, not DROP DEAD!"


,

 

[smoothshooter]

Did she have a shirt on?

Why do so many crazy women have the highly arched eyebrows?

 

[WR Moore]

Guy got stuck while driving his car down the railroad tracks on Christmas Eve. "I been to a party, and I'll admit I've had a few, but I don't wanna cause anyone any trouble. I'm just looking for a way home without too much traffic on it." He was hanging onto the car door and fell off it twice while making this speech.

Footnote: he had 7 fifths lined up on the back seat in case of a sudden attack of sobriety on the way home.

 

[pawngal]

A few days ago Iowa HP stopped a speeder going 129mph. Reason? Didn't want his kid to be late for 1st day of school.

 

[Rodan]

Too many to list, but here's some favorites...

When asked how much they've had to drink, the answer is always: "two beers"

When you find the dope or gun: "these aren't my pants"

My all time favorite, while cuffing a guy for homicide: "is this going to take long?"

 

[Rustyt1953]

 

[Rpg]

You can't do that!

Famous last words as the cuffs go on, or the back seat door of the cruiser closes, or as the doors of the detention center close.

Maybe some of these citizens actually believe it!

 

[Rpg]

"Why, no, officer, I have no idea why you pulled me over" - every driver on southbound I-75 past the I-275 exit.

This is a whole lot better than actually confessing to speeding from the defense standpoint. At least the suspect won't have his confession presented to the jury.

 

[LVSteve]

When you find the dope or gun: "these aren't my pants"

I recall that from an episode of Cops.

 

[Bozz10mm]

Didn't you see that stop sign?

Yes officer, but I didn't see YOU.

 

[old bear]

Got any more recent ones?

Not recent, but still a classic. On tape in DUI processing area, one brain trust stated he would not attempt the physical DUI testing process. When I asked him why. his response was, "I'm to ******* Drunk."
Unlike most DUI charges that one never made it to court. Can't figure out why not