Uninvited critters in bed. What's your story?
- Thread starter blackdeuce
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Tyrod
Member
I've got these 2 17lb Shi-Tsus. They will bump and crash into me until I've subconsciously moved to the edge of the bed. Next step, floor. I love getting up at 3am. In spite of the fact they've taken over my half of the bed, I still love 'em.
vonn
US Veteran
Slept on the ground with critters a lot but still freak if I feel something crawling on me and have sailed my feral cat out of bed a couple of times! She doesn't have anything to do with anyone else but she likes to slip under my blankets in the middle of the night! She usually slip in without me being aware until morning.
M E Morrison
Member
Inusuit
Member
Not me, but my college roommate. He awoke in the middle of the night when something soft and fleshy landed on his face. He grabbed it and staggered to a light switch where he discovered he had a firm grasp on his other hand, which had fallen "asleep" and landed on him when he turned over.
Oldiron
US Veteran
Woke up a couple of times one night with what sounded like water in my ear. Next morning it still sounded like water so I had my wife look and try to see if she could tell what was going on. She could not see anything so she had some ear medicine and put a couple of drops in the ear. As the drops hit the bottom of my ear, an itty-bitty red spider smaller than the size of a pen head came running out. What I had been hearing was the spider running around on my ear drum. Larry
kthom
Member
Been stung while sound asleep by yellow jackets a couple of times, by scorpions a couple of times, and was once wakened by something very large and different scampering across my chest. It was a centipede about five inches long! I grabbed it and flung it across to the wall, heard it hit and fall, then turned on the light to look for it. Never found it!! That was the worst part. I know it was a centipede since I could see it in the red glow of my alarm clock above my head. Spent about two hours looking for it with no luck. Finally went back to bed after finally talking my city raised wife to get in there with me.
Woke up a couple of other mornings and could see a much smaller centipede making laps around the shade on the ceiling light above the bed. Removed the fixture and fixed the place where they were accessing the bedroom from the attic. The small ones couldn't get over the edge to fall onto the bed light that big one did.
Such things are a regular part of life on the high plains. Always poured out my boots and shoes before putting them on. A yellow jacket will sting you bad if you crowd him up inside your boot with your foot, and it takes about a week before you can walk comfortable again!
Woke up a couple of other mornings and could see a much smaller centipede making laps around the shade on the ceiling light above the bed. Removed the fixture and fixed the place where they were accessing the bedroom from the attic. The small ones couldn't get over the edge to fall onto the bed light that big one did.
Such things are a regular part of life on the high plains. Always poured out my boots and shoes before putting them on. A yellow jacket will sting you bad if you crowd him up inside your boot with your foot, and it takes about a week before you can walk comfortable again!
Well, back in the day, they didn't seem so critter-like when I went home with them.
Mickey Gilley - Don't The Girls All Get Prettier At Closing Time - YouTube
Mickey Gilley - Don't The Girls All Get Prettier At Closing Time - YouTube
The base housing we lived in many years ago had a penchant for palmetto bugs (Florida state bird). One night I got up to go to the bathroom and in the dim light, thought I saw a palmetto bug, grabbed a shoe and pounded the daylights out of it.... only to discover our tiny toy poodle has left us a "gift" on the rug.... yech.
Critters for me? Kids! They love to invade every single piece of real estate their parents have... They're worse than rattlers & scorps @ times! Way messier too!!
Nothing quite like a nice peaceful sleep and a kid urps on ya [emoji23][emoji33]
OP
Many years ago, my brother-in-law decided to take a nap....in the nude. One of their new kittens decided to join him. The kitten saw something on my brother-in-law and decided to attack. Sunk her little teeth into you-know-what. It was at that moment that the kitten learned how to fly (with my brother-in-law's assistance). 
CustomChevyGuy
Member
I've got a few stories, being that I've lived all but a few months of my life in Florida, could tell you all types of critters that somehow found their way into my bed, but will limit myself to 2 of them..
When I was about 5 or 6, my family and I lived in a trailer. My parents room was at the end of the hall, my sister and I shared a room in the middle, and the bathroom was in between the two rooms. One night my dad rolls over and tells my mom to stop tickling him with her hair. He starts to doze off and feels it again. Being the peace maker he naturally is, he decides to roll onto his back and give her some space. As he rolls over he feels the hair again, but this time moving around on his chest. A bit irritated at this, he decides to flip the blanket and try to catch her in the act as it were. When he does he hears a squeak. He turns on the light and finds that my hamster had somehow escaped the cage we had for him. The hamster had somehow managed to get out of the cage, wonder down the hall, and crawl up into bed with them.. This wasn't the only time he escaped his lovely glass apartment.
Second,
When I was living in my first apartment after college, I had a habit of coming home and opening up the sliding doors to the back screened in porch when the weather was nice and cool, and enjoy the wonderful evenings. One night the apartment cooled down to just the right temprature and everything felt amazing. I finally called it a night and crashed into my queen size bed. About half way thru the night, I am startled when hear what sound like the footsteps of 2 people, walking thru the grass. My heart is pounding, and I slowly reached for the .45 next to me, trying not to fast enough that anyone snooping around my apartment could tell I was awake. I laid there waiting for something to happen, the whole time trying to control my breathing, and straining to make out movements of shadows without my contacts. Finally I give up and pass back out into slumber.
I never sleep on my stomach, but for some reason tonight it felt so comfortable. I dont know the actual time that passed, but the next thing I know I feel a hand on my back. I have never jumped, turned and pointed anything so quickly. I take a look around and I don't see anything?! I start tearing the room apart, and then see movement out of the corner of my eye. Somehow a brown rat had made it into my bedroom, up my bed and onto my bare back..I chased him around the room, until I finally gave up and barricaded him in the room.
Half asleep and with my mind racing, and thoughts quite blurry, I called a friend, and left him what he later described as the most jumbled, hysterical voicemail ever. Wanting to get some sleep, I grabbed my work clothes and ended up crashing on his couch for the next few hours till my alarm went off.
But there's more!
Being that I was at my first career job, and holding a manager title, I didn't say much to any co-workers, other than I had a rough night of little sleep. Later that morning one of my installers decides he's going to put on this furry gorilla suit glove. (No one including the owners could explain why there was a full on, head to toe Hollywood style gorilla suit in the shop) Not knowing about the rat ordeal I was still recovering from, he decides to sneak up on me, and pat me on the back with this big furry gorilla glove. This is the second fastest I'd moved in the previous 24 hours. I turned around out of sheer fright and panic, and landed a solid right fist to his sternum. Not only did he fall over, but it took a while for the bruising and tenderness to finally heal.
Now about 10 years later, we both laugh about it..
When I was about 5 or 6, my family and I lived in a trailer. My parents room was at the end of the hall, my sister and I shared a room in the middle, and the bathroom was in between the two rooms. One night my dad rolls over and tells my mom to stop tickling him with her hair. He starts to doze off and feels it again. Being the peace maker he naturally is, he decides to roll onto his back and give her some space. As he rolls over he feels the hair again, but this time moving around on his chest. A bit irritated at this, he decides to flip the blanket and try to catch her in the act as it were. When he does he hears a squeak. He turns on the light and finds that my hamster had somehow escaped the cage we had for him. The hamster had somehow managed to get out of the cage, wonder down the hall, and crawl up into bed with them.. This wasn't the only time he escaped his lovely glass apartment.
Second,
When I was living in my first apartment after college, I had a habit of coming home and opening up the sliding doors to the back screened in porch when the weather was nice and cool, and enjoy the wonderful evenings. One night the apartment cooled down to just the right temprature and everything felt amazing. I finally called it a night and crashed into my queen size bed. About half way thru the night, I am startled when hear what sound like the footsteps of 2 people, walking thru the grass. My heart is pounding, and I slowly reached for the .45 next to me, trying not to fast enough that anyone snooping around my apartment could tell I was awake. I laid there waiting for something to happen, the whole time trying to control my breathing, and straining to make out movements of shadows without my contacts. Finally I give up and pass back out into slumber.
I never sleep on my stomach, but for some reason tonight it felt so comfortable. I dont know the actual time that passed, but the next thing I know I feel a hand on my back. I have never jumped, turned and pointed anything so quickly. I take a look around and I don't see anything?! I start tearing the room apart, and then see movement out of the corner of my eye. Somehow a brown rat had made it into my bedroom, up my bed and onto my bare back..I chased him around the room, until I finally gave up and barricaded him in the room.
Half asleep and with my mind racing, and thoughts quite blurry, I called a friend, and left him what he later described as the most jumbled, hysterical voicemail ever. Wanting to get some sleep, I grabbed my work clothes and ended up crashing on his couch for the next few hours till my alarm went off.
But there's more!
Being that I was at my first career job, and holding a manager title, I didn't say much to any co-workers, other than I had a rough night of little sleep. Later that morning one of my installers decides he's going to put on this furry gorilla suit glove. (No one including the owners could explain why there was a full on, head to toe Hollywood style gorilla suit in the shop) Not knowing about the rat ordeal I was still recovering from, he decides to sneak up on me, and pat me on the back with this big furry gorilla glove. This is the second fastest I'd moved in the previous 24 hours. I turned around out of sheer fright and panic, and landed a solid right fist to his sternum. Not only did he fall over, but it took a while for the bruising and tenderness to finally heal.
Now about 10 years later, we both laugh about it..
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Well, RATS!
I was planning on going to bed in a couple of hours.
Mebbe I'll just sit on the couch for the night with a flashlight and a 1911.
I was planning on going to bed in a couple of hours.
Mebbe I'll just sit on the couch for the night with a flashlight and a 1911.
ParadiseRoad
Member
...I was headed for bed...wife says..."there's a spider up there"...pointing at a little wooden candle holder on the wall...I crawl up on a stool with a paper towel to grab it...it jumps on my face...I back off the stool and come crashing down hitting my head on the sharp corner of the nightstand...I feel my head for a skull fracture...I am still coherent so I wrap a towel around my head and drive to the clinic 12 miles away...doctor says..."pretty deep...I can see your skull"...two stitches inside...three on the outside...
...when we were first married we were living at my wife's Grandmother's cabin a ways down the hill from where we are now...my wife was serving up dinner to take into the living room by the TV...she says..."I think I saw a bat"...naw I tell her...just a shadow from a moth in the light...I head for the living room and meet a bat at eye level...hit the floor without spilling my plate...acknowledge my wife that she was right...bat is on the curtains...we caught him between two badminton rackets and escorted him outside...
...here at home when you slip out of bed and head for the bathroom on a cool morning when the woodstove is out...you will come back to critters in the bed...two Basset Hounds and a cat...
...when we were first married we were living at my wife's Grandmother's cabin a ways down the hill from where we are now...my wife was serving up dinner to take into the living room by the TV...she says..."I think I saw a bat"...naw I tell her...just a shadow from a moth in the light...I head for the living room and meet a bat at eye level...hit the floor without spilling my plate...acknowledge my wife that she was right...bat is on the curtains...we caught him between two badminton rackets and escorted him outside...
...here at home when you slip out of bed and head for the bathroom on a cool morning when the woodstove is out...you will come back to critters in the bed...two Basset Hounds and a cat...
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Was visiting my daughter in Ga. last week. Woke up with something running on me. I hit myself in the face and on the arm twice. Felt a slight sting on my nose near my eye. Figgered it was from hitting myself. Turned on the light looking for a critter. Under the pillow was a centipede. The sucker had bit/stung whatever they do. Ended up with a small red spot under my eye. With the normal bags it was not real noticeable.
Rpg
Member
I have been happily divorced for many, many years.
My former spouse loved cats. The third cat was christened 'Biggie Rat'.
When Biggie Rat was a kitten, she decided to sleep beside me under the covers one night. In the morning she decided to wake me up by sinking her baby teeth into me. Imagine where.
Biggie learned to fly about a split second later.
Ex wife got all 3 cats - I got the dog.
I got the best of the deal.
My former spouse loved cats. The third cat was christened 'Biggie Rat'.
When Biggie Rat was a kitten, she decided to sleep beside me under the covers one night. In the morning she decided to wake me up by sinking her baby teeth into me. Imagine where.
Biggie learned to fly about a split second later.
Ex wife got all 3 cats - I got the dog.
I got the best of the deal.
somewhere around this time of year 46 years ago while on my senior trip to South East Asia some wise *** put a very large spider on my cot down at my feet right after a night shift. when I felt it on my leg and saw what it was I jumped up and shot it, which of course deflated my air mattress. I went and got the air mattress from the punk's room that put it there and told him he was next if it ever happened again. it didn't. lee
