Uninvited critters in bed. What's your story?

[Frank46]

When we first got married we had a small apartment. Was working shift work and had come home. Wife was sleeping so crept into bed so as not to wake her. All of a sudden there was this huge blast of thunder and probably the brightest flash of lightening. I had just dosed off when this happened. Next thing I know is claws digging in my chest. Still half asleep I lashed out with my left hand and almost clocked the wife. She falls out of the bed. Haven't thought about that in awhile. However my 95 pound pit bull named bob sometimes gets in the bed. Especially during a thunderstorm. Sounds like a pervert on the phone with the heavy breathing. Frank

 

[BearBio]

While in Belize, a group of howler monkeys came in. One of the girls huts was next to ours. Howlers in Belize also sound like a pervert's heavy breathing. The girls thought it was a jaguar and started screaming and woke up the entire compound.

Not a "bedside story" but a rude awakening, nonetheless!

Ironically, a couple of days later we heard a jaguar while coming down a trail at dusk and no one knew what it was.

 

[phantomcycle]

While in Belize, a group of howler monkeys came in. One of the girls huts was next to ours. Howlers in Belize also sound like a pervert's heavy breathing. The girls thought it was a jaguar and started screaming and woke up the entire compound.

Not a "bedside story" but a rude awakening, nonetheless!

Ironically, a couple of days later we heard a jaguar while coming down a trail at dusk and no one knew what it was.

I love the critter in Belize I owned 50 acres of jungle and found out quickly that jaguars love chickens so much for my dreams of having eggs for breakfast
I owned a small shack on that land and every night before bed time I made sure all windows and doors where shut tight but durning the summer having ventilation would be nice so on a trip to town i picked up some screen to cover a window ahhh got a nice breeze flowing thru now
One night something woke me up so as I slowly raised up from bed i look in the dim moon light and see a jaguar sitting on my table eating leftover chicken bones and skin...total panic set in because my gun was out of reach...all i could think of was be calm and wait...the cat finished his meal and jumped off the table and slowly walked towards me...oh s#€h now what
All i could think of is scare this cat off so i jumped up screeming like a banshee waving my arms...in one leap that cat jumped out the widow thru the screen hole and was gone
Now i have heavy duty screen with bars across my window hope it works also I sleep with my gun now

Sent from my LG-K371 using Tapatalk

 

[Doug M.]

I thought this string was going to have more potential.

 

[JayFramer]

At my old place I would regularly wake up in the middle of a summer night to have two or three (or more) "spider crickets" hoping about! I kept a broom near the bed for this reason and it was the most ridiculous game of "whack a mole" I can think of.

Glad I moved out!!

 

[pmanton]

I had forgotten about this one. When we were getting ready to move to out forever home on an airpark we were getting a rental house ready for sale in San Diego. I would tow a trailer load of stuff over and unload it. I'd stay the night, get up before dawn and have a cup of coffee waiting for the sun to come up. Then I'd run the airplane around the patch once and return to San Diego for another load. One morning after it became light enough to see I spotted this critter still twitching but prettu squashed. I had sat on him in the dark.

 

[model70hunter]

1st wife........

 

[indigo22]

I've never had a calm encounter with yellow jackets, wasps, or bees. Over my youth I had been self programmed to flee at first BZZZZ.
My wife and I had moved out to a cabin in central Michigan. I had stepped out onto the front stoop to finish my morning coffee. I sat down on the bench wearing shorts and a red tee shirt. Leaning back soaking in the sunshine sipping my coffee, my mind wandered... Until a HUGE buzzing noise stopped to hover right in front of my chest. I freaked out standing and spinning all in one motion I bolted a couple steps away before even looking back. The buzzing thing was gone. My wife appeared in the doorway and asked why I scared it off. My reply was what? What was it? She told me I scared off a humming bird.
Needless to say my coffee cup was empty and not because I finished drinking it. Also I was wide awake due to the instantaneous Adrenalin rush.
For a while my employer required me to wear a pager also. I never got used to the vibrate mode going off on my waist.