When your wife asks you this question--lie!

[Beemer-mark]

I'm deaf, that's my excuse. Even with hearing aids. First pretend you didn't hear the question. Have her repeat it 2 or 3 times. Act stupid. Think about if a long time. Hope the phone rings. Actually worked worked pretty well before I went deaf. Remember, as pointed out there is no correct answer and you cannot plead the 5th. So stall and just do not answer. Has worked for me for 41 years.

 

[carpriver]

To the question of what movies star does she remind me of? I say very quickly there is no woman that compares to her beauty. If she asks the question about her butt or is she fat, I remind her she is still the young women I married 47 years ago. It's worked

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

I was showing a picture of the wife and I while dating to our 4 teenagers (about 20 years ago) and the oldest ask, "Who is the skinny guy?" My wife and love of my like was walking by and patted my ample stomach and said, "Your dad is still in there." To which the oldest started running around the house yelling "Mom's second husband ate our dad!" Now I understand why Grizzly bears kill their young!

My wife is a beautiful and smart woman, that knows better than to ask those kind of questions! I avoid all her friends for a reason... and she knows why!

Ivan

 

[Farmer17]

Question:

"Honey, does my butt look big?"

Answer:

A. No, it's just the gobs of cellulite on your outer thighs.

B. No, it's the perfect size, if you were eleven feet tall.

C. No, it looks like that of a 17 year old gymnast.

Correct Answer:

They're all wrong it's a trick question, fake a heart attack and don't answer.