When your wife asks you this question--lie!

[David LaPell]

My wife asked me recently what movie star or celebrity she reminded me of. I shouldn't have told her it was Granny from the last Ice Age movie. Boy that couch seems comfy.

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js_ndqK3NTo[/ame]

 

[ordy]

Mouth in gear before your brain was engaged? That question is the same set up as, "does this dress make my butt look big". There is no right answer. If my wife asks a question like that, I give her the facial expression that says, "really?". She just laughs and walks away.

 

[arjay]

Something I said to an old friend last week caused her to comment on the aging brain and the breakdown of filters..
Girls are mean!!

 

[CajunBass]

I remind my wife. "Never ask a question you already know the answer to."

 

[jimmyj]

jimmy's method: go deaf

 

[yaktamer]

That question is the same set up as, "does this dress make my butt look big". There is no right answer. .

Wrong. There is only one correct, truthful answer, "No."
This is always true because either: (1) Her butt doesn't look big, or (2) Her butt looks big, but it's not because of the dress, it's because it IS big. "No" is a pretty safe answer because, as long as you don't elaborate, she can assume you mean reason #1.

(In some cases "No" may also be true because "big" isn't the same as "ginormous," but I digress.)

 

[Chipmunk6]

that's about the time you sound the
horn and "go deep and rig for silent running"

C6

 

[BearBio]

Years ago, I worked a sportsman's show for Quail Unlimited. When I came home, my wife was in the driveway and asked "Is there something you want to tell me?"

I answered with "Dear, we've been married ten years. I am not answering until I know what I am accused of!"

(Seems someone had abandoned a mini-schnauzer mix in our back yard. He was just like Falstaff from Shakespeare==d____ thing lived to be 22!)

 

[pharmer]

About 10 years ago, a short lived TV commercial had a guy in the shower when his wife asks: " If I suddenly disappeared, which one of my girlfriends would you want to be with?" He immediately covers his "nether region." Voice says: "Some questions have no right answers." You gotta be careful around female humans. Joe

 

[4barrel]

I shouldn't have said John Denver.

 

[4330Inroute]

A guy I know lost most of his money and possesions when he answered a question wrong. His wife asked him that when she died would he give her replacement all her clothes. He said no he wouldn't do that. She then asked if she would get her jewelry. He said no their daughter would get them. She had him on a roll. Then she said I bet you'll give her my brand new golf clubs. He said no because she's left handed.

 

[16thVACav]

My wife asked me the same question. I still don't know what the right answer is, but I found out for sure it's not Gabby Hayes.

 

[kscharlie]

I have told my wife to never ask me something that she really does not want an answer to. However, the other day.....


My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

Well, the doc said I should be up and walking in about 6 months....

 

[doublesharp]

Jamie Lee Curtis in the dark.

 

[Hillbilly77]

Jamie Lee Curtis in the dark.

Which is perfect, since I'll bet now your eyes are both swollen shut.

 

[686fan]

The other day, my wife asked me "does this dress make my butt look big?" I said "No, I'm pretty sure it's that pound bag of M&Ms you eat every night."

 

[snuffy51]

Very best advice.

1. #1- NEVER LIE
2. #2-Just state your best guess of what she would like to hear.
3. #3-ALWAYS remember what you actually said.

Has worked pretty well for me for 45 years. Have a nice day and always be safe, see above list.

 

[fiasconva]

Coughing fits! Ya gotta learn how to have coughing fits when those questions get asked. It's like shooting...you have to practice. After you've been married long enough they just come naturally.

 

[Donna K]

You boys are FUNNY!

 

[Frank46]

My wife has always accused me of selective hearing. Hear what you want and ignore the rest. But sometimes you gotta lie like a rug when it comes down to self preservation. Frank