Need advice on how to handle a situation

[tlawler]

My 18 year old daughter lives up in Tallahassee and attends FSU. She works two jobs and carries a pretty heavy class load, so she's under a bit of stress. Yesterday when she was working at her DSW shoe store job she had an encounter with an irate customer who yelled obscenities at her and berated her. Her manager was working at the register next to her and was a witness to the episode. Faith got to the point she could no longer handle the woman's tirade and just walked away and asked her manager to handle it. She went to the break room and cried and had to take some time to compose herself. The manager finished the transaction, at the end of which the customer wanted to file a formal complaint against my daughter for "being rude". The manager told the customer in no uncertain terms that she would not do so and that she was the one being rude and obnoxious. Now evidently the customer is going to contact corporate and file a complaint against both of them. Somewhere in the tirade against Faith and her manager, the woman somehow "bragged" about being a nurse at Tallahassee General Hospital and having to put up with peons at minimum wage jobs. I am just livid about the whole ordeal Faith had to endure and the fact I could only comfort her from afar. I just wanted to hug her and tell her she would sometimes encounter people like this. Now I want to contact HR at TGH and file a complaint of my own. Am I justified in doing so since she volunteered her place of employment?

 

[rwsmith]

She did the right thing....

She let the manager handle it and if any complaints come down he can handle those too. This is a life lesson. You WILL run into people like that. Support your daughter, but don't fight her fights unless necessary.

Since the woman wasn't on her job, it's not use complaining to her workplace.

 

[6518John]

I think the single most difficult aspect of being a parent, at least for me, is knowing when to step back and let go. This is probably one of the most important aspects too. For me I think it would be doubly difficult with a girl, which I don't have. I try to follow the general rule with my son that if you behave like a man, you will be treated like one.

This is all a long way of saying that you should probably just let your daughter and her manager handle the situation—it sounds like they have done an excellent job so far. It also sure sounds like you have raised a mature, intelligent, hard-working, young woman who was smart and self-aware enough to not engage a crazy and remove herself from a situation.

This situation illustrates another thing in addition to letting your children stand on their own two feet—everyone should have a job once in their life where they have to deal with the general public. There is no better motivator for their studies and training to try to get in an area where they don't deal with the public!

Our public servants out there are truly saints.

 

[Texas40]

Leave it alone.
Let your CHILD become an ADULT.
Likely wont be the last "encounter" she experiences in life is she always going to run to daddy for help.

Concern for our children is natural but so is allowing them to mature.

Console her some but let HER figure out the rest.




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[ColbyBruce]

I am sorry that happened to your daughter and her manager. May I suggest your daughter not take a job with the USPS.

I would contact HR at the witches place of employment as she sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. She might do the same thing at work.

Congratulations on having a daughter who attends college and works two part time jobs.

 

[Maddog 521]

Reality is reality. People deal with people everyday. Even though it was unpleasant I'm sure she learned from this incident.

 

[Auburn4]

I would have your DAUGHTER contact the woman's place of employment. Use e-mail and close out with name and cell# and when she can be reached. No drama, just facts.

 

[Retired LTC USAR]

I would have your DAUGHTER contact the woman's place of employment. Use e-mail and close out with name and cell# and when she can be reached. No drama, just facts.

Unless she has the women's name, contacting HR will be of little value.

 

[Rule3]

Am I justified in doing so since she volunteered her place of employment?

No you are not justified.
You were not there
Leave it alone
Your Daughter is an adult

In retail, stuff like that happens every day.

 

[Babysitr]

I think your daughter did the right thing! growing up is not always pretty..let her know you're proud of her and have her back!

 

[Huskerguy]

I am in the group of let your daughter work this out. She is an adult and she will learn from this. I take the biblical perspective on this, pray for your enemies, few words, don't argue with a fool and ask a simple question - how can I make this better for you. It puts the pressure back on them to resolve the issue instead of just ranting although that is what most will continue to do.

I definitely would not call her employer. What does that accomplish especially since you were not there. It seems like a tit for tat. 99% of the people threaten (I wish I had a dollar for every time I was threatened to be sued as an administrator) do not follow through.

She will always remember this and learn from it. The world has some interesting people in it. A bunch of sinners saved by the grave of God but still not very nice at times!

 

[SteveA]

I guess I'm not too bright but what does this nut job's employer have to do with what she does on her own time? Its not something she did on the job and from what you posted there is no evidence the same sort of conduct occurs at her employment.

 

[Alpo]

Just because the woman said she was a nurse at Tallahassee General does not mean that she actually is a nurse at Tallahassee General.


People lie.

 

[Farmer17]

When I worked in a restaurant I've had customers say terrible things to me just because they know they can get away with it, it's part of the job. Just tell your daughter that and the next time it happens it won't bother her as much, but it's never fun dealing with rude or crazy people. Just part of life and I wouldn't waste any time trying to complain about the rude customer another will be along pretty soon.

 

[rwsmith]

People are two faced.......

I guess I'm not too bright but what does this nut job's employer have to do with what she does on her own time? Its not something she did on the job and from what you posted there is no evidence the same sort of conduct occurs at her employment.

They often look for somebody innocent to take out their frustrations on. She may act like an angel when at work.

PS: I hated working in retail for the same reason.

 

[Geronimo Jim]

The problem was not your daughter or the store. That lady doesn't like
her accountant, husband, co-workers, etc. This is a real important life lesson. When you encounter people like this, never argue, just listen.
When they stop talking calmly state your answer. They will probably cut you off and when they do, shut up and let them talk until they finish.
NEVER ARGUE, NEVER RAISE YOUR VOICE. When you learn to deal with people like this, look at it as a test of your personal growth. Don't take it personal, remember, they don't like anybody.

 

[kamloops67]

Yes i would look into it , sometimes it can make you feel better to put a boot in someones bottom
Although i don't think nurses are held to a high level of propriety during their off time like a teacher might be

 

[Steve912]

People lie.

And, you only got your daughter's side of the story...

 

[Ranger17]

This garbage can happen at all levels of workplaces let alone life in general. My daughter has dealt with it, not only work related but when she is out with her son. I should add she is 31 but literally looks like a teen. So people have publicly given her a hard time about being a mother at way too young of an age.

Some people just suck, and as much as i wish to be protective i also cant keep my "little girl" in a bubble.
As for the OP's situation, i say let the daughter and her manager handle it as needed. And sad to say that likely won't be the last time it ever happens.

 

[vt_shooter]

If the story was brought to the attention of the nurse's employer, I'd bet it would come as no surprise to them. This can't be the nurse's first rodeo at the nasty corral. Bottom line: Dealing with the public is a tough job some percentage of the time.