Your Favorite Aphorism

[Shooting Padre]

I like;

"I may be old, but I'm slow."

 

[tork'd]

no matter where you go...there you are

 

[wbraswell]

You'd gripe if you were going to be hung with a new rope.

 

[DeadAye]

Get a rope!

She's cuter than a speckled pup.

Expect the unexpected.

If he had a brain he'd be dangerous.

NO! That doesn't make you look fat.

 

[handejector]

Let's do somethin' even if it's wrong.
(which is the colloquial version of:

Any plan, no matter how poorly conceived, if boldly executed, is better than inaction.

If it was easy, everybody would be doing it.

A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.

 

[bigolddave]

Every stupid thing I've ever done seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

[TIMETRIPPER]

This always pops up and bites me at work...

Never assume anything.

Then there's:
Once I thought I was wrong... but I was mistaken!

Finally, "Trespassers will be violated"

John

 

[LTC]

"You'll go to hell for ly'n as well as sleal'n". From my mother.

"Like a pig on ice". From my Father.

"If you can't play well (music), play loud". From my Grandfather.

LTC

 

[captorquewrench]

Practice makes permanent, not perfect.

 

[rick6336]

My Grandfather once told me this when I was a kid and didnt get my way - "Stand up, suck it up and move on." Still remember this after 40 years.

 

[rcnixon]

"Foolish names, like foolish faces, are often seen in foolish places."

"Nothing good ever happened in a bar after midnight."

"What's natural is decent."

"No one can make you do anything you don't want to do."

All from my Grandmother.

Russ

 

[ofas]

Peace runs hot thru a belt fed weapon.
This was told to me by my son who was a gifted man with a 240 gulf.

 

[CAJUNLAWYER]

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

 

[arjay]

Don't sweat the small stuff.It's all small stuff.

When in doubt,sweep.

 

[novalty]

I used to be fast, now I'm just half-fast.

If you wish for peace, prepare for war.

You can't miss fast enough to win.

You can wish in one hand and poop in the other, see which one gets filled first. *My father's saying when my brother & I asked for stuff.

 

[Wyatt Burp]

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy".
Tom Waites

 

[BaldEagle1313]

You'll probably find this ironic coming from me, but...

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

 

[Fishslayer]

"More messed up than a soup sandwich."*
"That's as messed up as a football bat."*
"BOHICA"

"Six .22 hollow points center mass trumps 1 .44 Magnum in the floor."

*Some words have been changed to dodge the monkey's banhammer.

 

[captorquewrench]

The band director's beatitude: Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he is never disappointed.

 

[5Wire]

I started out with nothin' and I still have most of it left.—Seasick Steve

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so. —Mark Twain