GOOD One Liners - or even not so good ...

[soFlaNative]

This is the worst looking hat I ever saw, oh it looks good on you though.

and "Last time I saw a hat like that it was in a soup kitchen."
Was there any better than Rodney Dangerfield one liners?

 

[vetjay815]

my best

it's better to stand there and look stupid then to open your mouth and prove it.. #2 I have to bragg how else is the world going to know how great I am...

 

[686fan]

I may not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was.

 

[Backlighting]

The smallest minority on earth is the individual.

 

[Old Seabee]

one

Wife . You never listen to me, you only hear what you want to hear.
Husband. Sure I'll have a beer

 

[Buford57]

From a Robt. C. Ruark book set during the Mau-Mau Emergency in then-colonial Kenya. A cop is beating a suspect's feet with a stick.

"Confession is good for the soles."

I need to re-read Something of Value and Uhuru. I'd completely forgotten that line.

 

[Papa32129]

Do you speak Spanish?
"Sometimes"


Papa

 

[e3mrk]

The one I used at work is.
Anything is easy for the Man that doesn't have to do it Himself.

 

[Gulfecho]

Asking a college professor out..."Call me when you have no class."
-Rodney Dangerfield

 

[Bozz10mm]

You can't push a chain uphill.

 

[Iggy]

Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.

 

[Grayfox]

Never pass up a good opportunity to shut up.

 

[A10]

Four pages, and no "Take my wife, PLEASE"?

 

[soFlaNative]

If at first you do succeed, try not to look surprised.

 

[brigeton]

The one I used at work is.
Anything is easy for the Man that doesn't have to do it Himself.

Close to what I used to say about my jerk boss that would estimate a 6hr job at 1hr, everything is easy from behind that desk.

 

[Ron M.]

My wife said I had enough guns....but I went and bought another rifle anyway. Duct taped it to the vacuum cleaner. She ain't found it yet....

 

[brigeton]

My wife said I had enough guns....but I went and bought another rifle anyway. Duct taped it to the vacuum cleaner. She ain't found it yet....

I wouldn't bring that up at home if I was you.

 

[Harley Fan]

I have great abs, I just keep them carefully wrapped in several layers of insulation

 

[dougb1946]

You can't beat stupid, but you can quiet it a bit with duct tape.

 

[Davwingman]

If we had some ham,we would have some ham & eggs,if we had some eggs !