meaneyedcatz
Member
Beauty is skin deep but ugly goes to the bone.
Not the brightest light in the harbor.
Not the brightest light in the harbor.
GOOD One Liners - or even not so good ...
- Thread starter Bekeart
- Start date
bigolddave
Member
Every stupid thing I've ever done seemed like a good idea at the time.
jlrhiner
US Veteran
Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you.
We have no idea where we're goin', but we're makin' good time.
Its 106 miles to Chicago,we've a full tank of gas and half a pack of cigarettes,it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Hit it!
Hit it!
My departed elderly friend and neighbor Camilio on a nice day,
"It's beautiful out, I think I'll leave it out!".
"It's beautiful out, I think I'll leave it out!".
CAJUNLAWYER
Member
"Ya can't make chicken salad out of chicken s---."
"Go to the office and they'll give you back your legal fee and then you can go hire a real paid lawyer."
"Damnit-I hate it when I forget to take my 'give a s--- pill'"
"Let the games begin" (usually upon entering the court on misdemeanor day
"Time to start drinking" (usually around 15 minutes into the misdemeanor docket).
"Elvis is leaving the building" (to security on the way our of the courthouse).
"Go to the office and they'll give you back your legal fee and then you can go hire a real paid lawyer."
"Damnit-I hate it when I forget to take my 'give a s--- pill'"
"Let the games begin" (usually upon entering the court on misdemeanor day
"Time to start drinking" (usually around 15 minutes into the misdemeanor docket).
"Elvis is leaving the building" (to security on the way our of the courthouse).
Ogandydancer
Member
If Brains were gunpowder he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
He/She is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
If He/She had the brains of a bird they would take them out fly backwards and whistle through their rear end.
IF a frog had a glass rear end he wouldn't bump it but once.
If the wolf came to my front door he'd have to bring his own lunch.
He/She is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
If He/She had the brains of a bird they would take them out fly backwards and whistle through their rear end.
IF a frog had a glass rear end he wouldn't bump it but once.
If the wolf came to my front door he'd have to bring his own lunch.
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"It's all fun and games until someone gets pregnant."
Judge Knapp (RIP) to an attorney (not me) during a trial: "You may know how to practice law someday but you sure as **** don't know how today."
Judge Knapp (RIP) to an attorney (not me) during a trial: "You may know how to practice law someday but you sure as **** don't know how today."
My Mother's opinion on 10 cent millionaires:
If it cost a dime to take a pee they'd have to hold it.
If it cost a dime to take a pee they'd have to hold it.
Chik a Boom
Member
There are 2 theories when dealing with women...
neither one works.
neither one works.
kthom
Member
"If you put his/her brain in a matchbox, it would roll around like a BB in a boxcar!"
He/She has dysentery of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth!"
"IF a frog had a pocket, he'd carry a pistol to kill snakes with!"
He/She has dysentery of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth!"
"IF a frog had a pocket, he'd carry a pistol to kill snakes with!"
mmaher94087
Member
I have a beautiful daughter,
a handgun, a shovel..
and an alibi.
a handgun, a shovel..
and an alibi.
