SO WHAT'S YOUR WIFES SUPER POWER?
- Thread starter hangnoose
- Start date
shouldazagged
Absent Comrade
Mine's been dead eighteen years, but I can still hear her crackling laugh and see the mischievous twinkle in her eyes as she sweetly cut some jerk down to size before he realized he was sliced.
She was an oasis of calm for me many times, and vice versa on occasion.
She once told me that if I ever stopped looking at attractive women she would know it was time to call the coroner, and if she ever stopped looking at men I'd know the same thing.
Her super power? Maturity and inner beauty, leavened with humor and balanced with great common sense. The power to be my other half for the few years we had together.
She was an oasis of calm for me many times, and vice versa on occasion.
She once told me that if I ever stopped looking at attractive women she would know it was time to call the coroner, and if she ever stopped looking at men I'd know the same thing.
Her super power? Maturity and inner beauty, leavened with humor and balanced with great common sense. The power to be my other half for the few years we had together.
feralmerril
Absent Comrade
Which one do you want to hear about?
YEAH,YEAH YEAH.
We all married Mrs Right. We just didn't know her first name was ALWAYS. Seriously for a sec, the ability to be an ace in the many areas I am sorely lacking, like grace/ manners/ tact/ compassion/ people skills/ patience/ paperwork/ liking kids. She was raised a good Sicilian Catholic girl. The Catholic school I went to thought (strongly) public school would be a better fit for me, in the 2nd grade. I've been trying to teach her all the stuff kids are supposed to learn on the school bus. After 20 years I still have to explain certain things, but generally now surprises me and gives a good as she gets, or better.
We all married Mrs Right. We just didn't know her first name was ALWAYS. Seriously for a sec, the ability to be an ace in the many areas I am sorely lacking, like grace/ manners/ tact/ compassion/ people skills/ patience/ paperwork/ liking kids. She was raised a good Sicilian Catholic girl. The Catholic school I went to thought (strongly) public school would be a better fit for me, in the 2nd grade. I've been trying to teach her all the stuff kids are supposed to learn on the school bus. After 20 years I still have to explain certain things, but generally now surprises me and gives a good as she gets, or better.
She likes all the same foods I do.
She likes the same movies I do.
She doesn't like to read but doesn't mind if I do.
She likes to go to the range with me. After years of trying, she's not a very good shot, but she still loves to go.... or maybe she's just trying to appease me.
I take the dogs out, walk them, play with them, feed them, trim their nails, give them treats, give them pills when they need them, tend to them when they're sick....
But who do they whine after when she goes upstairs? Yep... her.
She likes the same movies I do.
She doesn't like to read but doesn't mind if I do.
She likes to go to the range with me. After years of trying, she's not a very good shot, but she still loves to go.... or maybe she's just trying to appease me.
I take the dogs out, walk them, play with them, feed them, trim their nails, give them treats, give them pills when they need them, tend to them when they're sick....
But who do they whine after when she goes upstairs? Yep... her.
Being single 5 1/2 years, she passed that long ago. I sure like my life the way it is today. I do my own laundry, cooking & most of the housework. Still I have a gal come in twice a month for deep cleaning. But at my age I don't have time to break in a new one.
Miss Pam has the ability to remain silent during some of our conversations long enough to let me get both feet in my mouth. She calls it giving me enough rope to hang myself. Just like playing a big ol' flounder, she'll open the spool and let me run with the bait till I swallow it and then she sets the hook. Seems like I have no defense for this. Sigh....
On the other hand I've been trying for 43 years to help her understand the operation of the thermostat for our air conditioning system. I tell her that it is not necessary to lower the set point on warmer days or to raise it for colder days. That is what the thermostat does. You set the temperature you want and it will keep it within 1 or 2 degrees of the set point.
On any given morning I may wake up during any season or weather and the temperature in the house will be 60 deg. F or 85 deg. F.
Should I relocate the thermostat to a place she can't find? Naw, I s'pose not but it's fun to think about.
On the other hand I've been trying for 43 years to help her understand the operation of the thermostat for our air conditioning system. I tell her that it is not necessary to lower the set point on warmer days or to raise it for colder days. That is what the thermostat does. You set the temperature you want and it will keep it within 1 or 2 degrees of the set point.
On any given morning I may wake up during any season or weather and the temperature in the house will be 60 deg. F or 85 deg. F.
Should I relocate the thermostat to a place she can't find? Naw, I s'pose not but it's fun to think about.
Frank46
US Veteran
Where do you want me to start?. 3 portable phones and I still have to hunt one up when they ring. Must have more shoes than imelda marcos.
but having been married to her I still love her as she puts up with me. And I'm very far from perfect. Frank
but having been married to her I still love her as she puts up with me. And I'm very far from perfect. Frank
seadoubleyou
Member
Couponing. Last month she hit the $1K mark and looks to easily blow past that this month. My stockpile in the basement is really looking good.
Cdog
Member
On the advice of my attorney, I'm unable to comment on this subject at this time. 
My wife can predict the past with 85% accuracy....
bill2000
Member
My wife has the ability to find a new place to put her car keys in a different spot every day and then forget where they are. Then the has the ability to put both of us into hair raising panic the next morning when she's running late for work. I'm talking EVERY DAY.
Other than that she's perfect in every way and makes me a better man.
Other than that she's perfect in every way and makes me a better man.
Mine has the ability to browbeat me into buying more guns than I would ever have bought on my own.
keith44spl
Member
Clairvoyance,
She always predicting what I'm thinkin' about doin' next.
.
She always predicting what I'm thinkin' about doin' next.
.
olcop
Member
Super Wife
Mine has put up with me for over 50 years, she is my book keeper, computer guru, budget monitor, best cook I've ever met,worked almost all her life and kept our home going while I traveled for a living, raised our two children almost single handedly, (I was traveling traveling) is a talented wood worker and has built much of the furniture in our home, has seen me through sickness and numerous surgeries, has a great sense of humor, and is most of all my best friend and the person I want to spend time with, and she too, is still a looker at 70!!
I can't even comtemplate life without her!!!
olcop
Mine has put up with me for over 50 years, she is my book keeper, computer guru, budget monitor, best cook I've ever met,worked almost all her life and kept our home going while I traveled for a living, raised our two children almost single handedly, (I was traveling traveling) is a talented wood worker and has built much of the furniture in our home, has seen me through sickness and numerous surgeries, has a great sense of humor, and is most of all my best friend and the person I want to spend time with, and she too, is still a looker at 70!!
I can't even comtemplate life without her!!!
olcop
Murphy's Law
Member
My better half is an "Aussie" of 46 years, enough said (I obviously did Australia a favor) bringing her to the U.S. As NO country should have to deal with his gal. I can't seem to get anything by her (new toys) without her knowing about it. Plus the night out with the boys stopped the day after we got married! Also I learned a strange thing about wedding cake which seems to turn the female sexual desire OFF. Enough said before I get carried away.
CAJUNLAWYER
Member
It's the same super power that all women have and all men want . Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
kozmic
Member
My wife is gifted with selective memory. She can rattle off things I did wrong from years ago, but seldom remembers her own transgressions.
Seriously, she is an amazing judge of character. The only person who foiled her super power in the last 36 years was me!
Seriously, she is an amazing judge of character. The only person who foiled her super power in the last 36 years was me!
Mickey D
Member
Back hand.
Mickey D
Member
gregintenn
Member
I'd guess most of us did. I know I did!Luckily its not choosing a husband
OMG You're right......
It's the wedding cake. Who do you think invented the ritual of having a big cake at weddings? I guarantee you it wasn't a man. The potion they use changes you but makes you oblivious of this until until "the honeymoon is over" and you realize what has happened but are helpless to do anything about it.
It's the wedding cake. Who do you think invented the ritual of having a big cake at weddings? I guarantee you it wasn't a man. The potion they use changes you but makes you oblivious of this until until "the honeymoon is over" and you realize what has happened but are helpless to do anything about it.
Bill_inBouse
US Veteran
- Joined
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She can remember anything I did wrong for the entire 43 years we've been married 
All of what you wrote was so spot on I had to ask my wife if she was married to someone else that I didn't know about...BUT this last sentence (quoted above) is SO TRUE that I just had to comment on it. I was watching a TV show the other night, and the female character was complaining the male character doing exactly as you describe, and she called him "Captain Gum Flap and his war on silence." Ever since, I've called my wife Captain Gum Flap!
The really annoying thing she does is, she will ask me if we can watch a particular show (that she likes, and I don't.) I don't really care, since there isn't anything else on I want to watch anyway, and I can read while she watches. So, she turns on the show, and then gets her laptop with her Bluetooth headset, and watches something else online at the same time! AND asks me frequently, "What did they say?" about the show on TV!
JeffNW
Member
When my wife breaks wind miraculously her flatulence always manages to exit our cat's butt: P.U.-that darn cat again!
Brian41
Member
My wife is an excellent judge of character. Too many times she's warned me about some one I knew and in the end turned out to be right. I now know to listen to what she says about people.
She's also a Florence Nightingale and is there for any in need. She's a nurse and karate black belt and can deal with many situations on her own. Still she'll whine and cry about some petty stuff I need to deal with.
I did pretty well I think.
She's also a Florence Nightingale and is there for any in need. She's a nurse and karate black belt and can deal with many situations on her own. Still she'll whine and cry about some petty stuff I need to deal with.
I did pretty well I think.
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