Stupid stuff people say to LE
- Thread starter LVSteve
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Whit
Member
Don't know how many times I was told, "take that badge off and I will whip your rear end". To which I replied, it is too small to hide behind, so don't let it stop you.
This officer has great vids!
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHxO2b_Dvag[/ame]
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHxO2b_Dvag[/ame]
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Riding through town with my Chief. Car in front of us dutifully driving just under the 25 mph limit. He says, "dammit, doesn't he know 25 means 30?"
My 2nd ex's brother got pulled over. Cop asked if he could walk that white line? Heck, gimme a straw. & I'll snort it!
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Maybe this wasn't necessarily a stupid thing to say but; Pulled a guy over for speeding. He's a felon on parole. I tell him to pop the trunk. Nice AK laying there. I say well you know I have to take you to jail? He says yeah. I ask why are you driving around with a rifle? He says his buddy wanted his air compressor and that's all he had to trade.
Pulled over for 84 on a 2 lane road where the speed limit was 70 on a fine Sunday afternoon. In a Lincoln Town Car with USMC plates.
Sheriff "I pulled you over for going 84 mph"
Me, " Wow, that's to fast"
"Where you going"
"Picnic with xxxxxs (conservative group) "
Hand him license and insurance.
A couple minutes later he comes back hands them too me, says "Have a nice picnic and slow down a bit."
Me " Thanks"
Be polite, old, obviously veteran, obviously support law enforcement.
I am also sure he knew I grew up and started driving long before Montana ever had something called a speed limit. That didn't happen until 1999. Ya we had the 55mph deal, here that was a $5 ticket and no points. You would get pulled over for going 80-90 they would hold you up for 5 minutes or so, you gave them you five and took off again.
Sheriff "I pulled you over for going 84 mph"
Me, " Wow, that's to fast"
"Where you going"
"Picnic with xxxxxs (conservative group) "
Hand him license and insurance.
A couple minutes later he comes back hands them too me, says "Have a nice picnic and slow down a bit."
Me " Thanks"
Be polite, old, obviously veteran, obviously support law enforcement.
I am also sure he knew I grew up and started driving long before Montana ever had something called a speed limit. That didn't happen until 1999. Ya we had the 55mph deal, here that was a $5 ticket and no points. You would get pulled over for going 80-90 they would hold you up for 5 minutes or so, you gave them you five and took off again.
Yaworski
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Well, I might assume that I was pulled over for speeding but it may well be that I was pulled over because my trunk isn't latched.
My lawyer says to never volunteer information.
Capt Steve
US Veteran
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Oldie but a goodie...
A cop witnesses a guy pull the old California rolling stop. He slows down at the stop sign, looks and then rolls right through it. The cop lights him up, pulls him over and starts writing him a ticket.
The driver starts going nuts on him, why are you being such a jerk? I slowed down, what the heck is your problem?. He contines for a couple of minutes and finally the officer has had enough of his BS.
He puts down his ticket book, pulls his baton and starts wacking the guy upside head repeatedly. The guys starts screaming what are you doing?
{wait for it}...
The officer responds "Do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"
A cop witnesses a guy pull the old California rolling stop. He slows down at the stop sign, looks and then rolls right through it. The cop lights him up, pulls him over and starts writing him a ticket.
The driver starts going nuts on him, why are you being such a jerk? I slowed down, what the heck is your problem?. He contines for a couple of minutes and finally the officer has had enough of his BS.
He puts down his ticket book, pulls his baton and starts wacking the guy upside head repeatedly. The guys starts screaming what are you doing?
{wait for it}...
The officer responds "Do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"
One Sunday day shift I was directing traffic at a busy church when a van load of Hippies stopped & motioned me over. Thinking they wanted directions I walked over and quickly asked how I could help. One of them asked why I needed a gun to direct traffic, to which I responded; "To shoot people who ask stupid questions." Got my butt chewed by the sergeant but it was worth it.
During a search incident to arrest, which wasn't pleasant since the DUI suspect had already wet himself, he exclaimed "These aren't my pants" as I removed a 35mm film cannister containing white crosses from his right front pocket.
charlie sherrill
Member
Stopped a guy walking down the street around 2:00 a.m. one morning. He blurted out "I don't know nothing about that box car being broke into!" I didn't either until he said that. The box car was full of beer and was scattered all over the neighborhood. We wound up arresting over 10 people for theft. We put two officers in the box car and as soon as someone crawled in we cuffed them, sat them on a case of beer, and waited for the next one. After a couple of hours they figured it out and quit coming to the box car.
bobcat
US Veteran
After having the I pay your salary line laid on me, I would pull out a penny and slide it to them and say "well then, here's a refund of your portion." It always shut them up...
Bozz10mm
US Veteran
I like the one where the cop is administering a sobriety test to a suspected DUI.
Officer: I want you to take 9 steps on this line, toe to heel, heel to toe.
DUI guy: Are you kidding? I couldn't do that sober.
Officer: I want you to take 9 steps on this line, toe to heel, heel to toe.
DUI guy: Are you kidding? I couldn't do that sober.
Yeah, you don't those hippies setting up shop in your town....
[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrmUkq0jXYA[/ame]
An old Ron White joke....the trooper told me I smelled like alcohol, my response was...sir, I have smelled like that since 1975.
Then there is the Texas trooper who pulled a vehicle over. After asking for license and insurance he then smacked the driver in the forehead with his night stick, "son when a trooper pulls you over you have your paperwork ready and window down before I get to it." He then walked over to the passenger and signals for him to roll his window down and then gave him the same smack. The passenger is confused and asks "what is that for?" Trooper... " just granting your wish" ...passenger "my wish?". Trooper..."yea because 5 miles down the road you are going be saying I wish that trooper tried the billy club **** with me".
One more. Cop asked the driver why he didn't pull over when he saw the lights and siren. Driver..."well my wife ran away with a cop a few weeks ago and I was afraid you were trying to give her back".
Then there is the Texas trooper who pulled a vehicle over. After asking for license and insurance he then smacked the driver in the forehead with his night stick, "son when a trooper pulls you over you have your paperwork ready and window down before I get to it." He then walked over to the passenger and signals for him to roll his window down and then gave him the same smack. The passenger is confused and asks "what is that for?" Trooper... " just granting your wish" ...passenger "my wish?". Trooper..."yea because 5 miles down the road you are going be saying I wish that trooper tried the billy club **** with me".
One more. Cop asked the driver why he didn't pull over when he saw the lights and siren. Driver..."well my wife ran away with a cop a few weeks ago and I was afraid you were trying to give her back".
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1sailor
Member
I love it when people say really stupid things and say it with confidence. Heard a guy in court once argue with the judge by saying "Your honor, I came to a complete rolling stop".
I couldn't do that sober and with a cane!
My favorite stupid criminal comment. Upon getting a sentence of 10 years in the Montana State pen, the igit says '' But, judge I can't do no 10 years." To which the judge replied,"Thats alright son, you just go on up there and do all you can."
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