I think I can clean this up enough to pass the prude police here. OK, I belong to a club. And back in the 1980s the local arena would put on races indoors they called "mud bogs". It was kind of fun, and very lucrative for us because they'd hire a crew to man the event. They'd put it on by trucking in load after load of local river bottom mud, mostly kind of dry. They'd solve that just by watering in nearly to death. So the idea was to make a run at the mud trench and go as far as you could. But before the one nights events were to start, they had a dash for cash.
One of the local DJs got a few $100 bills and was standing out in the muck about 3/4s of the way along. Then the contestants, callers to the radio station, probably the 5th one or some such, all got to line up together and at the starting gun, run for all they were worth toward the guy with the $$. Looked like good clean fun, except for the clean part. You take river bottom mud and add more water and you get honest to gawd quicksand.
Well, it wasn't really an honest race. One of the runners was kind of tall and lanky, and when you saw him in action you just knew he'd played in the mud before. So yeah, he won easy. But one of the girls, a cute young chickadee, probably had never been dirty before, or at least with mud. But to her credit, she tried. But maybe 25 feet along she got tired out and just stopped moving. Of course that was right about where I was stationed. Another of our club guys came over and offered to jump in just a bit with one foot (a hind foot, he was kind of a bear). Well he couldn't reach her, so I was elected to go out past him.
And I got out far enough I could reach the girls arm and still had big Toby in reach. But the problem was the girl was stuck. Someone passed us out a towel to wipe her arm and hand off. She wanted to wipe her face, but that wasn't going to get her out. Oh, did I mention mud is slick? So anyway I got hold of her near side hand and was pulling for all I was worth (not much). She needed to kick or something to break the suction the stuff had on her. But by then she claimed to be too exhausted to help. She didn't want to participate, she wanted to be rescued. So I started to talk with her, explaining all she needed to do was kick her legs to help. Then suddenly she started screaming. Her pants were staying in the mud but she was moving!
I solved the problem by telling her not to worry, the crowd would love it if they came off. With that she became a swimmer and nearly propelled herself past me.
If you've ever been in the stuff, you don't make light of it.
