I certainly understand that this is a fun thread, not a serious one, but wanted to say that New Year's Resolutions have annoyed me from the very first time I'd ever heard of the concept.
I've always felt it was ludicrous to pick THAT day to set/follow some goal. I simply believe that if you conjure up a plan or goal, do it. Do it now. Do it when the time or money makes it feasible. There might be a dozen real-world limiters on when, where or how you execute your plan toward a goal.
But January 1st?
Bah... you're just putting it off. Do it or blow it, whatever, but it's boring to hear this grand declaration that you won't follow. Because if it were important and you were serious about accomplishing it, you wouldn't be waiting around for the day after 8-12 hours of hard drinking to "accomplish this important goal." If it mattered and you were serious, you'd have been all-in weeks or months before.
Related tale, in hopes of making my post something more than just a negative steamy pile:
My buddy Dan called me up on a beautiful Spring day and he said we should go grab a beer, and so we did. I asked him what was new and he said he got a really lousy cholesterol test result and his doctor let him have it. I asked him what was next and he said he needed to change his diet -- and quit eating fast food.
That was like a flashing beacon to me. "I eat way too much and I have been wanting to quit the stuff. If you have to quit, I'm quitting also. Just makes good sense."
I didn't have any Taco Bell or McDonald's or Burger King or Wendy's or Dairy Queen on that day. I almost sure as heck did the day before. Didn't know on that day that it would be the last time I'd eat it. Would it have tasted any different if I had known?
That'll be 14 years ago in April. I probably miss Chicken McNuggets and the Whopper the most. And half the menu from Taco Bell. Can't say that I miss White Castle much, haha.