GOOD One Liners - or even not so good ...

[wuluf]

I've posted this before. My Dad used to say: There are no stupid questions, just stupid people who won't go away...

 

[Texasgordo]

I'm so poor that I can't pay attention.

 

[SC_Mike]

"I'm happier than a dog with two peckers."

 

[tedog]

If I had a hobby horse, it would die.

Don't eat yellow snow.

 

[BigBill]

I'm busy as a dog with two peckers.

Watch out where the huskies go don't ya eat the yellow snow.

Why is it she's always right in her own mind but will never accept it when she's wrong?

 

[BigBill]

Will Rogers,

Buy land cause they ain't making anymore.

 

[soFlaNative]

Grass don't grow on a busy street ( reference to baldness)

"It don't grow in cement, neither."
Edith Bunker

 

[Lt JL]

never criticize a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes. That way, when you DO criticize him, you will be a mile away AND you will have HIS SHOES!!.


I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention.


Whenever I get the urge to exercize, I just lay down until it goes away.

 

[Texasgordo]

.............

 

[jscheck]

He'd rather walk a mile and tell a lie then stay where he was and tell the truth.

 

[jtcarm]

"He don't know **** from shinola."


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[motom]

You can't be lost if you don't care where you're at.

 

[islamoradamark]

a lady once asked me ..Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me

 

[walkin jack]

Hope is the mother of disappointment.

If you want total security go to prison. You will have a roof over your head and 3 meals a day. The only thing lacking is freedom


The older I get the better I was

 

[SaintsDad]

Why is it we never have time to do it right, but always have time to do it over?

 

[soFlaNative]

You're never to old to learn something stupid.

 

[Warren Sear]

To a woman with a nice asset;

I hate to see you go, but I like to watch you leave.

 

[PeaceSells560]

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

 

[soFlaNative]

One thing that wakes me up quicker than coffee is spilled coffee.

 

[brigeton]

This is the worst looking hat I ever saw, oh it looks good on you though.